Film dialogue is a strange beast. When we ponder over the classic lines in film history, most are by no means poetic or even that memorable yet for some bizarre reason we can’t stop quoting them. Case in point, I refuse to believe that when James Cameron typed the words “I’ll be back”, he knew that it would become one of the most repeated film lines in history.
Maybe it’s the effortless nature of many of these quotes that make them so legendary. Yet every so often screenwriters consciously attempt to reward the lexicon with a phrase that I’m sure seemed brilliant on the page.
I have no doubt that when Richard Curtis wrote, “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” he must have thought he hit screenwriting gold. The result unfortunately was unconvincing dialogue that is not only unbelievable but also laughable.
In honour of screenwriters who clearly have no ear for human dialogue we have compiled a list of our favourite worst dialogue moments in film. Enjoy!
10. Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)An absolute “so bad it’s good” classic and so hard to choose only one line.
“Now, don't you worry. The saucers are up there. The graveyard is out there. But I'll be locked up safely in there.”
9. Independence Day (1996)What is supposed to be a rousing speech comes off as the worst example of U.S. imperialism, arrogance and stupidity.
"The Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday…today we celebrate our Independence Day."
8. Jerry Maguire (1996)I hate you Tom Cruise, Renee deserves better.
“You complete me”
7. Troll 2 (1990)Just watch and enjoy.
“They're eating her... and then they're going to eat me... ”
6. X-Men (2000) You know you’re in trouble when it’s too corny for a comic book movie.
“You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else”
5. Gigli (2003)J.Lo attempts to be sensual with this abhorrent come on. (Turkey time is a euphemism for sex…use your imagination.)
“It's turkey time. Gobble, gobble”
4 .Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)Unfortunate.
“Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed.”