What were you doing on Wednesday night? Like millions of other Australians, you were probably watching MasterChef.
Ashton Kutcher wasn't - the Hollywood star and prolific Tweeter was complaining about Melbourne being "basically closed".
"How is it that Melbourne is basically closed on wed night," he posted to his 5.3 million followers on the social networking site.
In town to promote his latest film, Killers, Demi Moore's spouse found a sad lack of entertainment on a mid-winter, mid-week night in Melbourne.
But Melburnians know the city's charms are not of the obvious kind, certainly not when compared to the bright lights of Kutcher's hometown Los Angeles.
So to liven things up - in a very LA kind of way - Kutcher's management contacted Calder Park Raceway to inquire about putting the 32-year-old in a fast car, reportedly a Lamborghini or a souped-up Holden.
But Melbourne's famously wintry weather has put the kibosh on those plans.
Ian Macarthur, the general manager of the Calder Park Raceway, stepped out to inspect the track this morning and had to call the whole thing off.
"Too much water," he told The Age.
"He was due to come out here this afternoon but all the rain has caused us to pull the pin.
"His management staff made some tentative inquiries as to whether they could get out on the track. I think he just wanted to do some trackwork.
"But there's just too much water on it. They would have been aqua-planing."
As for the car Kutcher was to drive, The Age understands Holden's HSV division was vying with Lamborghini to be the actor's ride.
But this morning, neither company could confirm it was planning to provide a car for the publicity stunt.
Leaving poor Ashton with a dilemma about how to wile away those long, boring hours in sleepy ol' Melbourne town.
By Thomas HunterUPDATE! Maybe Melbourne ain't so bad after all:
