A few months ago we were emailed a link to a new music video supporting the famously convicted drug smuggler Schapelle Corby. The song was titled 'When You Tried To Tell The World...' It was relaying to the masses that Corby was innocent, yet no one was paying attention. Or something. Being the humble music section of this here site, we passed no judgement on the situation that had befallen Corby, but rather on the accompanying music, with its weird, MS Paint style collage of photos, press photos and "scales of injustice". Hell we even blew the dust off our heart and showed signs of sympathy. But the music - we thought - was fucking crap.

We said:

And let's get one thing straight; whether Corby took a bunch of marijuana into Bali or not, 20 years in prison is a grossly horrible outcome for such a crime. In Australia she could have murdered your family and gotten less jail time than that.

Nonetheless, there's no sugar coated way to say this, mysterious emailer: Sweet Baby Jesus this is a godawaful song. Christ, it's horrible. I'm surprised it's not on Ben Lee's record, he goes for these sort of lionised women scenarios right? 

A few weeks ago we had another one of these emails from the same person, "Nicola". In it we were chided for being "cruel" in our first post. Then, as if winking whilst accusing us, the mysterious emailer included a link to another Corby tribute song. This one was penned and performed by a 20 year old New York girl named Tara Hack and the song was called 'The Wizard From Down Under'. The "Wizard" being Kevin Rudd. Y'see? The song was unsurprisingly, ear-tearingly awful. (Nicola, you know you're emailing a music editor right? Not a human rights commentator, not the editor of High Times and not anyone that's going to focus on anything but the music you're using to push your agenda.) Still, in the interest of balancing out our somewhat lighthearted approach to the first clip, we again said nothing regarding Corby's fate, and astonishingly, even kept mum about the music on this video. We instead let the accompanying "facts" and the song itself, speak volumes. (Well ok we did finish the post with: - "As a Music Editor, I feel reasonably comfortable in saying...this song is atrocious.")

Now we've been emailed a third video. And it, friends, lays down the gauntlet to us.

Here's the email:

Some time ago I was at a conference with the proprietor of a major US entertainment portal: one of the biggest. I told him that it was disturbing how for each story they broke a mob of absolute low life felt it necessary to comment with foul and vulgar observations.

The worst seemed to be reserved for young women: Paris Hilton, Amy Winehouse, Lindsey Lohan and similar. In truth though, no-one escaped, no matter how virtuous. I basically asked what on earth it was about.

He told me that this was the norm for all entertainment portals over there, that their was an underclass who derived pleasure from spewing hatred. This had nothing to do with the target of the abuse, but was simply an outlet for inadequate people.

"Why do you put up with it" I asked. His answer? They click on adverts and keep coming back, and no-one takes them seriously anyway.

I ran into this chap again the other week. I briefed him on Schapelle Corby, explaining how she was having the life crushed out of her by the barbarity of surviving in a squalid (and dangerous) hell hole, and how her health was now failing her. I told him about your website, and similar, and how in Australia someone even in the depths of such suffering was the target of a foul and compassionless underclass. The following day (this was a launch/conference) he sought me out. He was appalled. I think his words were "Holy sh*t. I don't plan on going to Australia any time soon!".

You see, even on the basis of the sordid stuff he was used to sifting through, the vile nature and twisted minds of those who seem to enjoy Schapelle Corby's pain had shocked him.

I just thought I would explain this before bringing something to your attention.

Have a look at this new one:



Sex In The Desert - 'Eyes Wired Shut : For Schapelle Corby'

Yes.... now it's rock... passion, simmering anger, and a stunning video.

It's the flip side of the worst of humanity I have just referred to: a rock band who fundamentally care, and are angry.

You will like it: I don't even have to ask.

Nicola

Ok Nicola, pull up a chair.

First and foremost: I kinda like music. Arguably - but almost certainly - drawing upon modes and experiences that probably haven't wandered across your mind before. Looking past the obvious notion of my being employed to critique such things, thanks to the former I feel entirely adequate to analyse the music you've presented to us. It's got nothing to do with "enjoying Schapelle's pain". It's about not enjoying your shit tunes. Also, it's polite to ask.

Secondly, in our coverage of the music you've been sending us, we've avoided commenting on Schapelle Corby's fate. This is the music section of the site and really, we put the first vid up as bit of a lark. Now you say we're part of "a foul and compassionless underclass", calling to attention our allegedly deranged, bilious thoughts about your buddy while we no doubt froth at another new opportunity to sling hate at her from the wordy turret atop our media empire. That we are - if you may be so bold - "the worst of humanity."

Gosh. I'd be lying if I said we weren't a little hurt Nicola. Here I was thinking we reviewed albums, interviewed musicians, championed the little guys and talked about funny pictures. A less uncouth figure might even suggest that we've been quite mild on the whole affair, even accommodating. Perhaps you've had some pride pricked by a few of the less than flattering comments left on this site, but hell, that's the beauty of music being subjective isn't it? The joy of free speech? And frankly such joy comes in droves whenever we receive one of your  emails misguidedly telling us how sure you are that we'll like this new "powerful" music that's been awkwardly cobbled together to champion your friend. 

We don't. Lyrically inept, poorly arranged, retrogressive, jingoistic, tuneless music that wouldn't limp through the rigged first heat of the Royal Ear and Eye Hospital's 'Battle of the Bands'. Really, it's not doing anyone any favours, except perhaps the guy with iMovie who's presumably enjoying putting these travesties together. Looking past your condescending sermon for a moment, I don't know how else to tell you this but it's just no good. It's funny. Which it seems, isn't your intention. Your intention is something foggier, something that's supposing these songs will light a match, release a dove; bend international law based on our subject being uncomfortable. In prison.

Nicola, even if in some fantastic universe these songs might sweep through the nation heralding a new dawn of compassion, riling the middle-class into clamouring hysterics, 24 hour petitioning and public scenes of fist-shaking and condemnation that would finally see "The Wizard" capitulate into sending troops to storm the beaches of Kuta, Rambo-style, to mow down wide-eyed fruit sellers and bust free a blinking Corby, who in her first few seconds of freedom would have an iPod loaded with these now infamous protest songs clamped on her weak, bobbling head in a epoch-defining front page vision of national pride, determination of the human spirit and the eternal healing power of music...let us say, now: it wasn't worth it. 

Please. We've suffered enough.