Falls Festival
Lorne, Victoria
Thursday 31st December 2009
 
If you haven't woken up in a poorly built tent in 30 degree weather on three hours sleep then you truly have not lived my friends. Or died a bit.

I…am..……really scattered right now. I'm not sure where I am, who is next to me, or why the tent to my right is playing AC/DC at shuttle launch decibels. Were those 3 hours of Celebricheese just a weird dream? Wait…it's coming back...

'Vin Cheezle'

We decide it's a wise idea to bypass the communal 'open air spray jet showers' - which I found out is a sly euphemism for '15 dudes on a wooden platform' - and head down to the beach in attempt to cure our ailments via salt water. The town is bustling and the local shops and cafes seem to be enjoying/tolerating the influx of customers.  

Salt water + pie + coffee = somewhat back on board.

Back on site the masses are a little more lethargic than yesterday. I sympathise. Brisbane's The John Steel Singers prove to be incredibly entertaining and a perfect way to restore blood flow. For their finale they're joined on stage by a team of ten or so, all of whom are dressed in horse costumes and performing some rather eccentric interpretive dance.

It's hot again today - possibly even hotter than yesterday - but storm clouds start to creep in from different angles and a Woodstock reenactment is on the cards. On the main stage a funtime Dappled Cities set is unfolding. Dressed in beach attire the guys are evidently embracing their sun-belting time-slot. 'The Price' triggers movement from the hill beyond, which at this time of the day is a akin to a mexican wave.  

Liam Finn is up next and he's joined by E J Barnes, who is of course the daughter of the great Jimmy. The deuo work fantastically together as Finn moves around the instruments. A glitch with the sound is a potential ruiner, but they keep their cool and move the set forwards. We spend the next half an hour or so catching up with friends and taking in the stories from last night. The winner would have to be a guy who walked for over 2 hours in an attempt to find the non-existent 'village'. He finally got a bus back into town with a series of unexplained cuts and bruises.

TATTOO WATCH

- Barbed Wire around the Australian flag.

All of a sudden the Valley amphitheatre is now close to capacity. 15,000 people are pushing their way to the front in 35 degree weather and I witness a level of fanaticism I've yet to see at this festival. The mosh pit is brimming with blow up penguins, "We Love AVS" flags, and fully attired mascots. It's time for Art VS Science. The Sydney lads walk on stage to a roar from the masses. I suspected this time slot would be detriment to their set , however 15,000 others quickly disagree. 'Friend in the Field' harvests the largest sing-along of the festival while 'Parlez Vous Francais' and 'Flippers' instigates scenes akin to that of a headline act.  

We need a breather after that - 6 for $25 anyone?  The crowds have dispersed for Little Birdy, perhaps realising they had a close to impossible act to follow. Back up the hill and under the tent we find Patrick Watson rounding out his performance. Watson is a dainty guy who hides behind a grand piano, creating stirring, orchestral movements - his voice in particular, is beautiful. He closes his set in bizarre fashion, however. Entering the crowd wearing what can only be described as a six megaphone, battery-powered tentacle hat, he makes his way through the audience attempting to rally a sing-along. The problem is, no one can understand what he's saying. Perhaps if he is to continue this stunt he should invest in a more powerful novelty amplification device.  

'Cuba Pudding Junior'

The storm clouds which have been threatening all day finally buckle over Jamie T and the Pacemakers. Fortunately his brand of cheeky pub-style pop-punk sets the people alive. It's a beautiful sight, and no one seems to be complaining about the heat-relief from the sky.

By the time he's done the storm is quite intense. There's very little available shelter, so one can either dwell on this, or embrace the inner fish and move about freely under the dripping sky. Cue multi-instrumentalist hippy, Xavier Rudd. Joined by Izintaba, Rudd gives the water-dwellers the set they're all craving. Watching forks of lightening splinter through the clouds while 15,000 people sing 'Let Me Be' is an unforgettable experience.  

Back up the hill I find myself dodging punters on mudslides - the Woodstock prediction has come true! I'm yelled at by a group of filthy men to join in. As much as I'd love to spend the next 4 weeks in hospital with pneumonia, I shall pass and continue on to the food stalls.  

With warm food in hand for the first time today I'm excited for the pairing of Rodrigo y Gabriela. With nothing more than two acoustic guitars, the duo from Mexico create what can only be described as a mind-blowing master class of guitar wizardry. Fabricating the drum beats from the bodies of their guitars they power through an hour of dazzling guitar duels. A medley from Rodrigo, which includes The White Stripes '7 Nation Army' melting into a series of metal riffs, results in a wild eruption from the crowd.

At most festivals there's always one name on the bill that sends you a little bit giddy. For me, it's Moby. I must admit I am, along with others, a little flabbergasted as to why we aren't being guided into the New Year with his music. His set is perfect. No somber moments, no preaching, no self-indulgent instrumental numbers - just a sweet soundtrack for the festival. Joined by a full band, which includes the vocal genius of Joy Malcom and Kelly Starr, Moby does what he has done so well for over a decade; paint vivd pictures with his music, allowing the subconscious to take over for a brief moment of time.

A tapered rendition of Lou Reed's 'Take a Walk on The Wild Side' proves to be a great Karaoke moment, while 'Pale Horses' and 'Porcelain' offer stunning downplay. The intensity soon shifts back to a peak, with 'We Are All Made of Stars', before 'Honey' finally brings the suggested 25,000 strong crowd close to nirvana, as Joy Malcom shares her gift with Falls.

It's 15 minutes till mid-night and I'm in a state of complete satisfaction. I'd like to end the year on this image so I remove myself from the main stage audience and join some fellow punters afar for a personal countdown. Somewhere in the distance the Hilltop Hoods have infiltrated the main stage and are using up all their B-Grade pun material: "We don't want to dampen the mood" etc etc. Perhaps they should have spent some time with us the night before learning the ropes of Celebricheese.

'Shaquille O'Meal'

A truly amazing way to step into 2010.

READ PART 1 OF OUR FALLS FESTIVAL 2009 REVIEW

(Pics: Sarah McEvoy)