Observations of the 2009 Soundwave Festival
Melbourne, RNA Showgrounds
27.02.09


1. The revamped showgrounds is a really great spot for festivals. Seriously. Compartmentalised, convenient, comfortable, with a bunch of curious nooks and crannies to wander into. Though I didn't line up for anything. Maybe that's why I think that. Why would you wait in line to buy a drink token, then head into another shed to line up and swap them for actual drinks, then wander out to a fenced in pen to breathlessly skol your drink? No one should ever spend 40 minutes of their life pursuing a Toohey's New.

2. Metal fans do not give a shit how they look, as long as they have ona black tee shirt of their favourite band. Two seen:

To Write Love On Her Arm
Like I Give a Fuck

Also, long, combed metal hair never goes out of fashion. Kind've.

3. Surprisingly, there's no overt aggro in the crowd. Sure there's a bitof circle work here and there but generally, the vibe seems one of communion more than antagonism. I saw more more mouthing off and men on their haunches at Good Vibes than Soundwave for example. Maybe this gathering of the marginalised has an opiate effect. Not a munter in sight.

In fact the only aggro we see is TWO SECURITY GUARDS beating the living shit out of each other. As they both fall to the bitumen by a food van punching each other in the head, kids look on. No one can do a thing about it. The men are about twice the size of even the other security guards around them. Finally they get dragged apart. One bruiser is looking off into the middle distance while the bigger guy yells "C'mon cunt! Outside cunt!!". Charming. I ask him for his security number and if his mother knows about his sailor's mouth and he punches my head clean off its neck into the bain marie. No. A guy next to me is explaining what happened: "They were sitting at the table giving out wristbands. One was just giving them to people when the other said 'Nah you've gotta put them on their wrist, not just give em to em'. The other said something back in his ear and it all went crazy hey".

4. Hardcore observations:

a). Anberlin on the main stage are playing to a backing track. You wouldn't notice if the non existant tambourine wasn't three times louder than every other instrument. It reminds me that slick emotive rock bands are sometimes just a tattoo and a distortion pedal away from being N'Sync.

b) Meanwhile, Dillinger Escape Plan are a tatt away from being Cirque De Soleil. From the moment the first (admittedly adrenalising) notes ring out, the band pirouhettes, grimaces, runs and leaps of any available flat surface. Halfway through I zone out for a while just watching them figure out what to rock the fuck out on. For a while it looks like they're going to swing off the lighting rig, until maybe realising that Trent Reznor could have them all kicked off the tour for such a thing. Soon enough, because of all the dust stirred, the black jeans on one of the guitarists are turning brown. Clearly outlining the knee pads that he's wearing underneath. Maybe dude has a cartilage problem. Or he should lay off the antics. Careful poppet, you could do some damage.

5. Rival Schools must be wondering why they reformed and travelled around the world to play to 100 people. They'd sound great in a club though.

6. The bass player for the Bloodhound Gang, "Evil" Jared Hasselhoff, is a mountain of a man. Enormous. Like he was a classmate of Conan the Barbarian. He starts their set by walking into the crowd to pour Jager shots. He's also wearing a Jagermeister armband. Is this a promo before the set? Halfway through the gig, after singer Jimmy Pop has played the Australian national anthem through a trumpet, Hasselhoff walks to the mic.

"I love this country. Thanks for letting us stupid Americans play for you. I propose a toast."
"Yay" says everyone.
"Get me a drink someone".
A roadie brings out a funnel and a beer.
"Budweiser!" the bassist recoils."This is a shitty American beer, get something else".
The roadie comesback with Jager. "Woo" goes the crowd.
Hasselhoff gets down on one knee and holds the funnel up to his mouth while the roadie pours in the entire contents of the bottle. You can see the dark liquid being guzzled through the tube. 
He stands up and groggily says "Get me a bucket".
The roadie hands him an empty beer jug, which he vomits into. The once dark liquid is now a rusty cream.
Grinning, he holds the jug aloft...and pours its entire contents down his throat. People are standing side of stage with their hands over their mouths.
"Argh" goes the crowd.
With puke residue still glistening on his chest, Hasselhoff begins to play bass.

Behind me a guy has his cock out and is waving it around to laughing crowd members. A powerful moment of communion.

7. Chorizo sausages are really, really delicious. Thankyou chorizcow.

8. Alice in Chains seem like the only relaxed people here. Gracious towards the crowd, their soulful old school metal blues stands out from the pack by taking its time. New singer William DuVall helps immeasureably by managing to both satisfy the Layne Staley diehards, as well as adding a hitherto unknown warm rasp to proceedings. With Cantrell spot on with his harmonies - dare I say it - the whole thing sounds better than the original. Sacrilege. A reunion that's a good idea. Who would've thought?

9. I have to rotate 30 degrees to watch Nine Inch Nails from up close. So I do. If I was at the Big Day Out right now I'd be crushed, coveredin sweat (not my own), possibly pantsless, penniless and very certainly far away from anyone I know or like. Instead I'm hanging out with a bunch of strangers who have all graciously given each other the neccessary viewing/breathing space. (If it takes a certain type of insatiably determined person to wait in line and enter for the D barrier at other festivals, are you not then faced with an entire front section crammed with very excited and offensively "determined" people?)

10. I'm suprised when NIN walk out only four strong. Maybe it's being up close but, goddamn they're amazing. Some bands, at the top of their game in any one genre, can essentially put on a demonstration for you. Of how good the end product is supposed to be. Whether or not you like the music is irrelevant, you can appreciate it regardless. NIN are one of these bands. Essentially a brand new lineup for Trent - ex-Beck bassist Justin Mendel Johnson, a returned Robin Fink on guitar and brand new 20 year old drumming prodigy Ilan Rubin making a mockery of anyone else - the four piece are amazing. With a lineup like this surely Reznor must be questioning his decision to quit playing for a while. Glad we got to see it.