Not everyone has digital television. Nor does everyone care. Still, most people DO remember last year's ARIA Awards telecast. So we're here to live blog the telecast that intends on reeling the awards back from the brink of the abyss.

Thing is, despite ARIA's so-called embracing of new media this year, the thing is close to finished as we write this; the results freely available right now for anyone looking at twitter (or anywhere else.) Still, it's the telecast of the ceremony that we're most curious about after last year's trainwreck, so here we go. Let's settle in.

7:37pm: Drapht looks a little sunburnt or something. In any case, despite some cherry-picker disguised as a plinth rising 20 feet out of the stage (he's playing 'Rapunzel', y'see -- she's on top of it, mincing), the modest single screen up behind the smallish stage appears the immediate legacy of the telecast's shift to digital channel GO!. Still, Drapht is blessed with one of the most recognisable voices in the genre, and he doesn't have to do much here beyond look in control. And leap from one stage to another to finish off the track surrounded by some cheeseball rent-a-crowd dudes. Which he does. So far, so pretty good.

7:47pm: Boy & Bear have won Breakthrough Artist Single. They look like store clerks. Which one suspects is also part of their success.

7:49pm: Boy & Bear have won Breakthrough Artist Album. They say The Middle East had the best album of the year and should of won the thing. Cases for and against there, but has some truth to it.

7:52pm: Tom and Alex brush off a saggy ARIA statue gag and announce Art vs Science as the winners of Best Independent Release. The trio are surprised but have people to thank written on their phone. Makes sense I guess. Under 20 mins and we're zipping through them already. A good sign. We may not be drunk by the time this wraps up after all.

8:00pm: Weird. Despite being seasoned vets, Cut Copy look like rabbits in headlights on stage. They've got some big gospel choir flanking them on both sides but it's not especially boosting their thin-sounding take on 'Need You Now'. Odd. TV, huh.

8:02pm: Goddamn it. Hamish & Andy are hard to hate. They announce via "heartpipe" that Drapht has won Best Urban Album for Life of Riley. He gets the heartpipe. And thanks Gotye for not making a hip-hop record this year. And dedicates the win to Hunter.

8:08pm: Cut Copy win Best Dance Release. In keeping with the pulpit, they're wearing business suits.

8:10pm: Kasey Chambers wins Best Country Release. She says how glad she is for beating her husband Shane Nicholson in the same category, because they had a bet that whoever won wouldn't have to get up in the morning to feed their six week old child. I wonder if she speaks with an American accent at home.

8:16pm: Molly opens his intro to Kylie's induction into the Hall of Fame by writing himself into her creation story. Soon after, the accompanying video intro has Gudinski doing the same thing. They both seem a little peeved.

8:25pm: Julia Gillard introduces Kylie with a monologue detour into the Japanese tsunami. Not the right time, maybe? Anyway...Molly wells up and Kylie's worldly accent adds to her still-a-bit-there-but-slightly-fading preternatural visage. Perhaps a little bashful, she finishes her speech with a mention that, "Wherever she is in the world" she's still proud to call Australia home,"(-ish).

8:30pm: OK an hour in. There's no denying that this year's ceremony is running on the fumes of previous year's drinks tab. Which puts it more in line with what the telecast used to be -- a bit daggy, a bit more fun, a bit more of an insiders perspective on an industry that relies on appearing slick and cashed up enough to (hopefully) to make an impact with viewers beyond fans. The latter version of which had its end point in the day-glo farce of last year's puke. Problem is — though it's hard to say — a trainwreck makes for compelling viewing. This year's is a recalibration. And it's working enough so far, sure, but...it's hard not to miss the insanity.

8:37pm: I'm caught between understanding that Guy Sebastien is currently providing the televisual highlight so far (via being utterly comfortable on TV and yeah, having a great enough voice) and that it's with a really crap song.

8:40pm: Good Charlotte. They fly in for this?

8:41pm: The Living End win best Rock dudes. They look like they've gotten some (fake?) sun too. (Is it the lights? Everyone is looking a little shiny tonight.) Once they leave the stage, Good Charlotte return to say The Living End are influences of theirs, surely to the winners chagrin.

8:44pm: Hamish and Andy win Best Comedy Release. They're way taller than Good Charlotte. They also make a, "Let's take our tops off and face the camera" Gotye v Kimbra reference. The edgiest moment of the night so far. And it's from your mum's favourite comedians.

8:50pm: Ruby Rose is interviewing Kav from Eskimo Joe and his jacket is strobing heavily on television and WOAH hard cut to Art vs Science looking gloriously stupid on stage. 'Magic Fountain'. They're wearing silver jumpsuits with some kind of retro, sci-fi-looking, clear blue plastic collar attached to them. Curtains fall and hey, they've got a couple of choirs too. *cue after-party drink-throwing between Art vs Science and Cut Copy's management*. (NB: Actually, both parties could probably also discuss the difference in sound on broadcast television, of dance music being played live or not-live in a performance.) Most lively set so far.

9:02pm: Gurrumul playing with Missy Higgins on piano now. Voices are pretty special together. She's singing in his native tongue too. Impressive. And yet — I know this is critical sacrilege, but — the song's a bore.

9:07pm: Iva Davies and Katie Noonan announce best pop release to OH GOOD HE'S FINALLY HERE Gotye. He's wearing sneakers and thanks producer Francois Tetaz and co-performer Kimbra. To think she wasn't originally supposed to be on the track.

9:10pm: And we're exactly two hours behind the actual event now. 'Somebody I Used to Know' being performed. Introduced as the "global number one hit" is a bending of the truth (Australia, Belgium and the Netherlands, actually). Reports before today claimed Wally De Backer was battling a cold. His voice sure sounds ragged tonight, (and holy crap, what a tough song, scale-wise, to have as a hit -- to have to sing...forever). So lucky then his tone is soulful as always. Kimbra comes out to help a little from behind a giant heart.

9:18pm: Richard Wilkins and Stevie Nicks are onstage to present the Adult Contemporary award, given posthumously to Billy Thorpe for Tangiers. His wife and daughters make touching, brief speeches.

9:25pm: An hour from the end of the show and the big winners (Best Single and Best Album) are all over twitter already.

9:28pm: There's some cyborgs presenting right now. Birds of Tokyo win the fuzziest award of the night -- Most Popular Artist. They're delightfully self-deprecating about it. At least they can say that they — along with Washington and Sia — were the only thing stopping last year's telecast from being an irreversible travesty.

9:30pm: Pink wins Most Popular International Artist. She calls them the "Air-RIAs" via video link-up.

9:31pm: Christ, these cyborgs are on really zipping through these things. The Living End win Most Popular Live Artist. The piped in audience clapping appears stuck as they begin their thanks from backstage. Which is very quick.

Home stretch now and it certainly appears that organisers behind this year's telecast have somewhat righted the stricken vessel. Or at least, corked the hole. "Don't bore us, get to the chorus," etc. Perhaps it's inevitable then that it's much less a spectacle.

9:36pm: Could easily watch the live performances all night though. The Living End are on now. Single-handedly the one band playing tonight that will forever remain in the firmament based on their great musicianship alone. It's the surface lyrics (or their refusal to move on from them) that won't let them be at the top of the pile though.

9:40pm: Noah Taylor and Chrissie Amphlett looking fabulously bedraggled whilst presenting Best Group to Boy & Bear. The hirsute Taylor overheard saying to one of them off-mic, "Keep working on that beard." He's also wearing a mustard jacket and white jogging sneakers. Actually, he looks more remarkable that the five winning band members put together.

9:44pm: Announcer keeps pronouncing Nick Cave's guitar-outfit as "GrindermEn."

9:47pm: Ford ad toting a Vampire Weekend rip-off soundtrack.

9:48pm: Delta Goodrem is still around. There's something off about her playing to the cameras while performing the eulogy soundtrack. It's also another reminder about the small industry we have relative to the rest of the world: our remembrance song isn't for those artists who have passed in the last year -- it's for everyone of note (Micheal Hutchence, Slim Dusty, etc.), people that have passed in the last twenty-five years. (And yet...no Rowland S. Howard???)

(Ed. Note: We originally had Barry Gibb mentioned in our list of eulogy recipients, but as pointed out, Barry is still very much alive. Could have sworn we saw his name (and mane) up on the screen during the telecast, but — unless it was a terrific error — will concede that it was surely Maurice or Andy.)

9:57pm: THE WIGGLES ARE ACCEPTING THEIR HALL OF FAME AWARD IN NORMAL CLOTHES. This is like Tom Waits accepting an award in shorts. Or having a famous swimmer as a presenter on the Opera House steps. Fourth wall, guys...

10:00pm: Yep, The Wiggles are pretty much the nicest guys ever. If they released a DVD about it being OK for adults to dance around their living room, dressed as animals, completely alone...another billion in the bank.

10:07pm: Boy & Bear playing now. Great vocalists but pedestrian tune. It scans as fitting that they've toured with Angus & Julia Stone.

10:13pm: Delta Goodrem on stage to hand out Best Male Artist to...Gotye. You know his album wasn't eligible to be included in this year's ARIAs, right? All this is just regarding one song, 'Somebody I Used To Know'. Next year will be a massacre.

10:14pm: Best Female Artist goes to Kimbra. She's from New Zealand. It doesn't matter any more does it? Great dress.

10:20pm: Missy Higgins is on stage to present Single of the Year to...Gotye. Of course. Still quite amazing that such a low-key, moody song, is what it is. "Thanks everybody for listening to this song that I made," says the ever-humble De Backer.

10:22pm: Boy & Bear on stage to accept Album of the Year. Which — in a ridiculously strong year for fantastic local releases — can't help but serve as a gentle reminder that this is business, folks. They're rocking the tee shirt tuck in. A nice thanks. Five awards and a boost in stock for them.

10:25pm: And it's finished! No performance to take us out to tomorrow's water-cooler conversation ("Daniel Johns knocked himself out! Luke Steele talks about himself in the third person! Ugly Kid Joe were a thing?!") and no time for reflection. Drapht's 'Rapunzel' plays us out over flashbacks and credits and oh god look, it's "previously" on Teen Mom and...we're done.

Read all the winners at the 2011 ARIA Awards.

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(Pic: Edwina Pickles)