With recent news of a Sims film in development, it has made us reflect upon the numerous atrocities put to film through videogame adaptations. We have been racking our brains to think of at least one example of a decent videogame film and have returned unsuccessful. Maybe it’s like mixing drinks, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
In theory, it all seems easy enough. Take a video game that people know and love and turn it into a film so they can squeeze a few more dollars out of the market. If only it was this simple. For almost two decades, we have endured one painful film after another with no respite in sight. Don’t lose hope just yet, early reviews of Max Payne, starring Mark Wahlberg, promise that the dark streak may soon come to an end.
The quality of these films would lead you to believe that the film makers had never actually played the games. In most cases, they are unrecognizable from their original source. I blame the nefarious German filmmaker Uwe Boll. Sure, it was bad before he started but he has degraded the genre to a point beyond salvation.
Thanks to tax breaks from the German government, Mr. Boll has made eight videogame movies including, House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, BloodRayne II: Deliverance, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Postal, Far Cry and Alone in the Dark II, and they are all atrocious. We must unite against this evil talentless hack. He must be stopped!
In honour of Uwe Boll, we have compiled the top ten worst film to videogame adaptations. Although he alone is not to blame, hopefully the public humiliation will be enough to make film makers think twice before taking on a video game franchise.
10. Final Fantasy
This film was supposed to revolutionise film making and render real life actors obsolete. Instead it caused the bankruptcy of many involved and resulted to be an absolute bore. Besides the title and character names, the film has nothing in common with the mythic game series.
9. House of the Dead
Uwe Boll’s first entry into the top ten is a painful film to watch. Rather than build upon the excellent arcade game this is an incomprehensible mess that is worth watching for the “so bad it’s good” factor.
8.Lara Croft Tomb Raider
How did this go so horribly wrong? Besides Angelina Jolie looking the part, this lifeless exercise lacks the excitement or sense of adventure of the game series. The sequel was even worse.
7. Doom
The film version of the game that defined a generation of players is slow and gets dumber as it goes along. It doesn’t capture the feel of the game and becomes an action vehicle for The Rock, who makes the least convincing villain ever.
6. Double Dragon
Party of Five’s Scott Wolf attempts to become an action star. Although the storyline is similar to the game, the film looks horrible and the action scenes are laughable.
5.Wing Commander
Three words, Freddie Prinze Jr. Also the film has become somewhat legendary as it premiered the Star Wars Episode I trailer during its cinema run. Shortly after cinema owners reported that most viewers would actually pay full admission, watch the trailer and leave once the film started.
4. Bloodrayne
Damn you Boll!
3. Alone in the Dark
One of my favourite games is butchered by Mr. Boll. Has he ever played Alone in the Dark?
2. Super Mario Bros.
Besides the character names the film has nothing in common with the classic game. In what is truly a sign of a horrible film the only highlight is Roxette’s Almost Unreal playing over the credits.
1. Streetfighter
It’s hard to describe how much this film sucks. I’ll let Mr. Van Damme demonstrate in the clip below, and yes that is Kylie by his side.
By Sebastian Cordoba