Tumblr: top 5 best of the worst

We've seen how Tumblr now trumps "blog" as a Google search term. Now here's some of the worst of Tumblr. Like, really, burn the servers they're on. Burn the data centres.

Women Laughing Alone with Salad

Oh man, I often want to stab stock photography in the face, but these ladies take the cake! Of course, there’s no cake to take—just salad. And salad has NEVER made me laugh. It’s the chore on the plate, the garnish, and the thing I get rid of first so that I can enjoy what is left without distraction. I will boycott ANY product that uses this kind of stock photography. Fucking liars.

Thirstiest Men of Instagram

WTF? Seriously?

If you thought Women Laughing Alone with Salad was bad, these motherfuckers level shit up. This is a collection of Instagram ‘babes’ who display their wares and attract some of the most vulgar comments from ‘thirsty’ men. Where 'thirst' is a euphemism for wanting it bad. Join me: hate.

Fuck Yeah F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

When the topic of the Friends TV show comes up I feel alone like those women with the salad. Friends was a ‘thing’ apparently. Let’s see, there’s Joey, Phoebe, Ross… Mickey? The two forgettable chicks. IDK. Nor do I fucking care! Each show is 24 minutes of carefully crafted drivel with a laughter track that clinically classifies it as comedy. When I want to get angry, like just before I play online games or write an opinion piece, I look at this Tumblr.

I REST MY CASE!

Tip: if you want me to like you, feign unawareness—I may test you with, "what's your fave Friends ep?" Yeah, if the conversation becomes stunted (and it will), talk to me about grammar instead.

Rich Kids of Instagram

Rich douches pouring $1000 bottles of champers over their gold Rolexes

This site is rather popular—it often pops up in ‘Best Of Tumblr’ lists across the net. But who really wants to dwell on spoiled shits in their Phantoms? Those who lounge in swimming pools filled with Moët empties on daddy’s yacht? Not I. But do I want to be one? Fuck yeah, of course I do! But until then, I don’t want a (gold) bar of it.

Glorious Sexism

This pic is about as tame as it gets

I’m not quite sure if this Tumblr is celebrating or merely highlighting sexism, so let’s hate it just in case. Actually, I think it’s pretty clear. It's not even funny, so there’s not much to write about here… just hate, hate, hate.

profile of Chuck Kolyvas