It's time for SKYRIM BLOG TIME! First up, I just finished the main quest line in the game. Can I give you some advice? Too bad, here it comes. Save the main quest. Or at least the tail end of it. Actually, do whatever you want, this game is so goddamned long and wonderful, and so hard (read: impossible) to finish that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. The main quest seems surprisingly short, but it's wonderful.
First up, there was a recent legal dispute between Notch (the dude who created Minecraft), as he was releasing a game called Scrolls. Bethesda threw some legal papers their way, seeing as how their games are part of the Elder Scrolls series, and apparently the word 'scrolls' is… anyway. It all worked out in the end. And evidently, Bethesda have a sense of humor about it: they put a little easter egg into Skyrim.
You can probably skip ahead a bit to the actual easter egg, which is a 'notched pickaxe'. Total awesome balls.
Oh, and I had a bit of a run-in this week with my first ever bug! Mind you, I'm playing the PC version so bugs are less prevalent, but I did spot a floating woman in Solitude.
Gross. Oh, and there's been a lot of talk lately about Skyrim overshadowing the new Zelda game's release, which is pretty valid. But if you're playing on the PC and are into mods, someone has created a Zelda armour mod! Likey?
And:
I mean, playing as Link isn't something I have any desire to do in an Elder Scrolls title, but hey, the option is there. Similarly, I've never wanted to wear cheese pants, but I could make cheese pants if I wanted to. Which I do. CHEESE PANTS.
THINK FAST MEME TIMES
Yes, that's right! IT'S CHRISTMAS! Pretty much, anyway. And whilst not many of us have the patience to nirnroot-gather or spend days making our houses look like neon flashy nightmare factories, SOME of us do. Like these guys.
That's the Skyrim theme, synched up with a house covered in Christmas lights. And here's another burgeoning Skyrim meme: FUS RO DAH! That's dragon for GO EAT A DICK. And here's a redub of a scene from Bolt.
Tasty. Now if you're playing Skyrim (or any games on Steam, PS3 or 360) you'll know about achievements. They're moreish, and in the case of Skyrim, there aren't achievements to cover the myriad of stupid little things you might hold dear to your heart. Castle of Now has posted a list of the 25 most obscure, non-existent, but nevertheless worthy achievements they feel should be in the game.
Expelliarmus! - 5 points - Disarm a Dragon Priest
OBJECTION - 5 points - Stagger a dragon by shouting at it while it's shouting at you
Tetanus - 5 points - Kill an enemy with a Rusty Arrow that has been poisoned
Underworld - 5 points - Kill a Vampire while in Werewolf form OR kill a Werewolf while under the effects of Sanguinare Vampiris
Band on the Run - 10 points - Steal a flute, a drum, and a lute
Becoming Butch - 10 points - Pickpocket a Sweetroll (Fall Out 3 reference, HEYO!)
Long John Silver - 10 points - Kill a Mudcrab with a fork
OVERRULED - 10 points - Sheild Bash a dragon while it's shouting
You Shall Not Pass! - 10 points - Use Unrelenting Force on a Flame Atronach while wielding a staff and/or a Great Sword
Beauty is Scale-Deep - 15 points - Marry an Argonian
Punchy - 20 points - Kill a Dragon with your fists
Buffy - 20 points - Slay 20 Vampires
As the Crow Flies - 20 points - Climb from Whiterun to High Hrothgar directly up the Throat of the World without using the path up the mountain
Cleaning Crew - 25 points - Collect every possible item in a dungeon/cave/ruin/temple (including Alchemy Ingredients, Ore Veins, Torches, and all the useless shit no one want's).
Executive Elevator - 30 points - After becoming the Archmage of Winterhold, leap off the top of the Archmage's tower into the water below, without dying.
Athletic Scholarship - 50 points - Become the Archmage of Winterhold without putting a single perk into a magic skill
Messy Breakup - 50 points - Complete this quest by convincing the groom to kill the bride
Raid Priest - 50 points - Complete the main quest line using only Restoration spells in combat
The Guiness Book - 50 points - Stack 30 plates in a stable pile
The Naked Nord - 50 points - Complete the main quest line while wearing nothing
The Van Helsing - 50 points - Pickpocket 10 Vampires and put Garlic into their inventory
Marquis of Queensbury - 100 points - Complete the entire game using only your fists
Supporting Role - 100 points - Complete the main quest line without dealing any direct damage (Shouts excluded)
The Sith Lord - 100 points - Kill 100 enemies with Sparks
Not all good. And some crappy grammar. But otherwise, a sound way to kill time. Oh, speaking of killing time, I came across this last week but didn't get around to posting if for you: a clearly fake but funny account on Facebook of a Skyrim marathon, with photos showing the consumed vittles and whatnot.
And finally, marriage. As many of you know, it's possible to get married in Skyrim. The thing is, do you WANT to? You get homecooked meals, money, a buff after sleeping with (read: next to) your spouse, same sex marriage, a home… it's pretty great. But then, is your adventurer a single type of guy/girl/lizard? Anyway, I'd love to hear who you're planning on hooking up with in-game. Me? I'm going with Sylgja. Ugly name. Wonder face.
WONDER FACE.
Anyway, I'm out. Have an awesome Christmas!
/Paul