The single most reckless, idiotic, wonderful app ever is here!

…However, it's also the best. I cannot express just how metatextual and idiotic and thrilling this damnable app is. Sadly, the iPhone app store rejected it (for reasons that will become swiftly obvious), but here is S.M.T.H. in a nutshell.

You install the app (on your android, obviously). You then throw your phone as high as you can. Go on, throw it. Catching the phone is entirely optional, of course, but if you're anything like me, your phone is carrying all kinds of incriminating evidence, so if it breaks, you're in the clear.

And that's it. Well, there's more to it than that: what the app actually does is register how high it's been thrown, then it uploads that height to a leaderboard. Effectively, it turns throwing your phone into a sport akin to Russian Roullette; do you want to be the best? Then you should risk your expensive phone to do so.

Fine, fine, so it's a tad less… harrowing than that. But here's some video footage of someone actually going through with what the app is asking of us.

Wow. That was… really, really boring. Let's see if someone can beat that. If you own an Android, install the app and give it a go. The real trick, apparently, is to throw it up in increments. Just toss it gently in the air and grab it at first, preferably on a nice, soft lawn. Do not, I repeat, do NOT do it like this.

Send Me To Heaven is available on android devices right now. That does not, however, mean you should install it.

But you're totally entitled to do so.

profile of Paul Verhoeven