Man beheads own father, most of Queensland overweight, Olympian shoots girlfriend - 10 things

Aussies ripped off by $1400 price diff

You may be aware that Microsoft, Adobe and Apple have been summonsed by the Australian Government to defend their unfair pricing strategies next month. This week it became apparent that the price difference between the US and Australian releases of Adobe’s Creative Suite 6 Master Edition is $1400—enough to buy a ticket to the USA (where you could buy Creative Suite and return home for the same money). Adobe’s CEO, Shantanu Narayen, happened to be in Sydney today to open their new office. During question time, Narayen dodged questions like they weren’t asked. Check his subordinate's eyes in the background...

Dear Adobe, if you insist on shitting on your non-US customers, then they’re just going to pirate your wares.

Australian shoppers in lusty 2 year high

Good news bitches: a report released yesterday indicates that Australians are optimistic about the economy. The Westpac – Melbourne institute consumer sentiment index rose 7.7 per cent to 108.3 this month—the highest since December 2010. “An index level above 100 indicates that optimists outnumber pessimists.”

DJs drops DVDs, music and games

The news isn’t great for everyone though. On the back of poor performance this quarter, commercial relic David Jones has announced that it is dropping the “low-performing categories of DVDs, music and games.” Surely the end of an era… how many of you bought a CD from DJs recently? Oh, how many of you bought a CD recently? Anyway, for those who haven’t heard of online shopping, DJs is sticking to what it knows best—fashion and beauty.

Father beheaded during alleged domestic dispute

One can only imagine what is going through the minds of a Villawood family after their patriarch, Toufic Zahab, was beheaded by his 42-year-old son, Khoder Zahab. Khoder and Toufic were allegedly involved in dispute when Khoder allegedly attacked his father with a knife. The scene took place in front of family, including Toufic’s wife.

Oscar Pistorius charged with murder

South African Paralypmic and Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius has been charged with the murder of his 30-year-old girlfriend, Reva Steenkamp. Pistorius allegedly mistook Steenkamp for a burglar when he shot her.

“A dingo fox stole my baby!”

And he’d have gotten away with it if it weren’t for that pesky kid’s large head. Hayley Crawley left her 5-week-old child, Dennie, on the sofa as she popped up stairs. After hearing Dennie’s screams, Hayley rushed back to find a fox dragging Dennie by the wrist toward the door, his head banging against the wall. The fox’s escape was hampered as Dennie’s head got stuck in the door. Meanwhile, Hayley wrestled with the fox and tore her son’s hand from the foxes mouth. Dennie sustained puncture wounds and lost a finger. Surgeons have reattached it but say there’s a 70-per-cent Dennie will never recover full use of it.

More than half of Queensland—FAT!

Queensland Health Minister, Lawrence Springborg, told parliament that 57.7% of Queensland’s adults are overweight or obese. In an effort to educate its citizens, government is launching a “highly graphic” campaign which “cannot be screened in general viewing timeslots.” More than a quarter of Queensland’s children are overweight or obese.

Sexual assault on live TV

Jimmy Saville—his name will mean little to many of you. He’s a celeb DJ who hosted a 70’s music show quite similar to Molly Meldrum’s Countdown. however, in recent months it has come to light that Saville was a serial sex abuser. 31 of Saville’s victims have launched legal action against Saville’s estate (he passed away in 2011) and the BBC. The thing that caught my eye was this clip showing Saville sexually assaulting a girl on live TV… it was good old fashioned fun back then I suppose.

Customs staff must dob on one another

In every workplace there’s a there’s a certain expectation that people behave in a certain way. That can extend to social gatherings too—within reason. Under what is termed “mandatory reporting”, Customs wants its staff to dob if they see their colleagues do anything suspicious. They obviously know a lot about promoting team spirit:

''While you are off-duty and at a party you observe a fellow Customs and Border Protection officer smoking marijuana. Report it.''

The lunch room is going to be a rather tense place from now on.

profile of Chuck Kolyvas