Zombies, income inequality and mixed reviews for Prometheus - 10 things to know

The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee is coming, and while this means my RSS feed is even more clogged with the Duchess of Cambridge fashion photographs and “it’s hard out there for a Prince” missives about what a wah it was to get married without Diana, the only thing really worth looking at are these pictures of people interacting with a truly ridiculous looking, queen sized (just kidding, this piece of shrubbery is much, much larger than our diminutive monarch), crown shaped topiary.


In France, recently elected President François Hollande has vowed to rapidly cap the pay of CEOs at all state owned companies, so that none of them are earning more than 20 times the lowest working wage in the country. This could see some big bosses take pay cuts of up to 68%.  Income inequality in France is already lower than in Australia, with their Gini Coefficient coming in at 33 (we’re 35). If we did the same thing here, based on a minimum wage of $30,600 a year, the CEO of Australia post would lose $2.2 million from his annual pay check. Which seems kind of unfair until you think about what else that cash could buy.

Speaking of egalitarianism, Gillard has spoken out at a Parliamentary dinner, suggesting mining billionaires will have to “share” their prosperity. In an uncharacteristic moment of political eloquence she said big mining companies don’t “own” the minerals in the earth, the Australian people do. 

"Australians don't begrudge hard work and we admire your success.

"But I know this too: they work pretty hard in car factories and at panel beaters' and in police stations and hospitals too.” This is all very well, but metaphors of car factory workers and panel beaters as the pall-bearers of blue-collar Australia shows a frightening lack of understanding about our shift into a service economy.

The Australian dollar has fallen to a six month low, as Europe’s dire financial situation pushes investors back towards the relative safety of the United States, and just generally freaks everyone out. Our sharemarket isn’t looking so crash hot (or rather, it is). Not surprisingly, the Euro isn’t fairing particularly well either. 

Meanwhile in Syria everything is still terrible. 

Also terrible? (But in no conceivable way the same flavour of terrible as Syria) Prometheus. Well, not terrible, but very mixed, which for a movie so hugely anticipated, with so many amazing trailers, accusations of muddle, over-length and indulgence are pretty disappointing. They will also stop approximately no one from seeing it for themselves. IO9 has a great survey of what everyone’s been saying.


Jessica Simpson had a baby, then got paid $800,000 for a photograph of her holding said baby. In this photograph she is virtually indistinuigishable from the picture of Britney Spears which also appears on the cover of the magazine. Also, for those playing at home, based on the shockingly low federal legal minimum wage of $7.50 an hour in the United States, Jessica Simpson was paid 51 times what the poorest Americans earn in a year for one happy snap with her infant.


If that depressed you as much as it depressed me, why not cheer up in the same way too, by masturbating to looking at these pictures of Ryan Gosling with a busted face in his new film Only God Forgives. Hey girl.


To leave on a positive note, none of the things listed above will be relevant in a few weeks time, because if you haven’t seen this very viral, deeply disturbing video yet, the zombie apocalypse is coming.  Because this grim bit of reportage glued so many eyes to screen, you can bet we’ll be seeing a lot more coverage of very sick people freaking out and doing terrible things to each other for a while, which will make it seem even more like… you know, the zombie apocalypse is coming. Because it is.

And when it does, you can find me In a tiny house, on a tiny island. 

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