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Obama: TIME’s Person of the Year

TIME Magazine’s Person of the Year… is it me or is this a little Hollywood? I’m genuinely relieved that he’s president and not that other guy, but surely someone else would be a little more deserving. Or am I not looking at it in the right way? Perhaps Obama is a Jesus figure who, when the world ends today, will help us rebuild our species… no… wait, that was Morgan Freeman—the real first black president.

Actual Person of the Year award goes to…

My vote for Person of the Year still goes to Malala Yousafzai, the 15-year-old girl who the Taliban tried to kill for campaigning to allow Pakistani girls the right to an education. Back in October, a guy boarded her school bus, called for her by name and shot her in the head (she survived and now has a titanium plate in her head thanks to English surgeons). Yousafzai is an example of someone standing up for what she believes in—even if it costs her her life.

Women not good enough for TIME’s Person of the Year

That’s a divisive headline, I admit, but TIME hasn’t given the award to a woman for 26 years. What the actual fuck is up with that? Are women just too lazy? Are they too busy cooking their husbands’ dinner or breastfeeding their children to make a difference on a world scale? Do we need a lacey and perfumed Lady-TIME Magazine? The last woman to take the honour was Cory Aquino, the first president and first female president of the Philippines (she was voted in after Imelda Marcos’ 2700 pairs of shoes and her husband were ousted from office). TIME says: get more remarkable ladies!

South Korea’s first female president

Speaking of powerful women, South Korea made history this week as it swore in its first female president—Park Geun-hye. Pretty cool in that respect—South Korea joins a small list of nations that have a female boss, including our Julia. However, it’s also a strange one—Park’s father, General Park Chung-hee was self-appointed “president for life” after seizing power in a military coup. General Park ruled South Korea in the 60s and 70s until he was assassinated in 1979. Though he ruled with an iron fist (he banned rock music and miniskirts for fuck’s sake), he is generally credited with leading South Korea out of the Korean War and into the 20th Century. It has been pointed out that now both North and South Koreas are run by children of dictators.

Obama vs. Spiderman

Some guy on twitter was right; we need a president who will stand up to Spiderman, not cower in his presence!

BREAKING: We're back motherfuckers.

The news account for the Interweb’s most well known hacktivists was suspended by Twitter yesterday for allegedly posting an “individual’s private information such as private email address, physical address, telephone number, or financial documents.” LOL—what a crock of shit. Do people even say crock of shit anymore? Anyway, I would expect Anonymous to just turn their account back on. Anonymous, who are normally quite merciless toward those who try to silence them, say they won’t retaliate against Twitter or any media they use to spread their message. Twitter promptly reinstated the account after Anonymous lodged a protest.

Nokia’s decline continues

Nokia a real life example of Aesop’s The Tortoise and the Hare. They had it all, but they squandered their lead, pumping out bullshit phones and software for years and, more importantly, they ignored the iPhone. The decline continues, as Nokia can no longer claim to be the world’s biggest handset-maker. Samsung makes 29 percent of the world’s handsets with Nokia dropping to 24 percent, down from 30 percent last year. Nokia has been number one since 1998.

Twitter keeps its promise: rolls out archive feature

Earlier this year, Twitter promised that by the end of 2012, users will be able to download their entire Twitter history. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to see the drivel I have been tweeting for the last five years (that’s right—five years bitches)! Perhaps my descendants might want to know what an arsehat their great uncle was. The function is being rolled out to users in stages. Once enabled, you can find it at the bottom of your settings page.

Melbourne CBD: The Retirement Village
My apologies for the very Melbourne-centric story—but underneath it all, I’m sure the following is a problem that affects cities and entertainment precincts across our nation. Faced with an empty family household and the desire to downsize, Mark Edmonds moved from the leafy suburb of Eltham on the outskirts of Melbourne to the CBD. Unfortunately, Edmonds doesn’t like noise. And since a nightclub adjacent to his apartment generates so much bass, he’s left wide-awake at night wondering who let the dogs out. He doesn’t seem to care that the nightclub was there first, either. What he would prefer is that the nightclub finds a way to contain the noise—thereby unraveling the fabric of what makes a city great. He has even called 000 out of frustration—taking his sorry plight to a new level of arsehattery, ensuring there is one fewer emergency operator available to take a genuine emergency call. Solution: The City of Melbourne legislates the CBD a Silent Disco zone OR Edmonds either fucks off back to a retirement village.

Capturing world’s largest tree in one image

National Geographic set about documenting the world’s largest tree in one image. The 3,200-year-old giant sequoia in the Sierra Nevada, California, known locally as The President, was photographed in 126 sections that were composited into the final image.

profile of Chuck Kolyvas

1 comments so far..

  • Beavdog's avatar
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    Beavdog
    Date and time
    Friday 21 Dec 2012 - 10:43 AM
    Thanks monsieurmaori, a year of entertaining articles!
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