But first, a look at the state of our political leadership:
the words we use to describe our leaders.
Sigh.
News
The ABC's Bananas in Pyjamas are safe after spending three days in the hands of kidnappers. Well, there weren't actually humans inside them at the time, but I'm still calling it a kidnapping. Those things are iconic, man. Fun fact: on The Age website, this was listed under the heading 'Reality'. Not sure what they're trying to suggest about everything else in the National News section.
And yesterday in useless parliamentary proceedings,
the Coalition continued to try and get their carbon tax plebiscite onto the Parliamentary floor and the rest of the Parliament did everything in their power to stop them. Tony Abbott continues to push the "this is the biggest reform in Australia's history" line, which is almost definitely "the biggest exaggeration in Australia's history".
Yeah, this really, really hasn't been a good month or two for internet security. Now
an Australian hosting company named Distribute.IT has been hacked so badly that it has lost beyond retrieval 4800 of their users' websites. I might keep some of my more crucial data off the cloud for a little while, if you don't mind.
OK, looks as if the ash cloud is finally dissipating - all mainland flights are due to resume today. I mean that still leaves New Zealand and that other island whose name temporarily escapes me (Tomsan? Tismo? Tammies? Something like that), but all the real places are back in action.
SBS' refugee themed reality show 'Go Back to Where You Came From' is attracting plenty of interest. Including
an article in the New York Times. Whoa! We've totally made it! But, seriously, this is pretty great television.
And another reason to be suspicious of the 'Malaysia Solution' -
outgoing Family First Senator Steven Fielding came up with it.
The web filter is coming!... Well, kinda. As of next month, Optus and Telstra will both voluntarily block about 500 child abuse related sites from the view of their users. The old arguments about such measures being absolutely goddamn useless still apply, but at least we've side-stepped mandatory government censorship. For now.
70 people are suing the company behind "diet spray" SensaSlim after they were conned into shelling out $60 000 each for franchise rights to the product. As much as I sympathise, really? A diet spray? You were willing to put 60 000 of your hard earned dollars into a diet spray? How? How were you convinced? I... the mind boggles.
Ryan Dunn, the recently deceased star of Jackass, has proved the aptness of that name one final time after
toxicology reports revealed he had a blood alcohol level of 0.196 when he drove his car into a ravine, killing him and his passenger. Sad, but seriously, what a jackass.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, perhaps the most popularly loathed leader in the Middle East, could be
on the verge of being deposed... by his own political party. Not that this will make Iran in any way a nicer place to live or live next to, but it's always fun when despotic regimes eat their own. Meanwhile, the evidence is mounting that Iran is actively supporting the efforts to violently quash the rebellion in neighbouring Syria.
Speaking of which happy place,
the Syrian government has warned the world away from interference after recently re-elected UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon pleaded with the Security Council to show a united (HA!) front in denouncing Assad. This seems unlikely, as Russia has for some reason taken a shine to the place and its resident megalomaniac. Aside from which, there's not a lot the rest of the world can really do with respect to Syria. Only so far sanctions can go when the economy is already crippled –
although that hasn't stopped Australia from throwing its hat into the ring – and there's enough money to keep paying the army. About the best that can be hoped for is mass tribal defections from the military and then all out sectarian war. So, uh, that's something to look forward to.
And in another Arab country, the women of Saudi Arabia are rising up!... And driving. Their cars.
Because that's illegal for them now.
In a victory – of sorts – for rationality, the
recently crowned Miss USA was one of only two people in the field of 51 to actively believe in evolution. America: doing it right!
Features
Exploring the ramifications of a Greek debt default, now, fortunately, looking slightly further off with the PM's survival of a no confidence motion. Those wacky Greeks.
A look at what happened to Iran's Green Revolution (remember that? And everyone was so excited about the healing properties of Twitter and made their avatars green to show their solidarity? Which is pretty much the equivalent of vomiting in a bucket to show your solidarity? Which I definitely didn't do?) and why the Arab Spring failed to kick start a fresh round of protests.
Oddities/Curiosities
Want a cheap, fast, fun way of improving your long term quality of life and overall mental wellbeing? Science sez: take some magic mushrooms. Yes, actual science, in an actual lab with actual people.
As SBS' 'Go Back to Where You Came From' dominates the water coolers of Australia (so, has anyone ever actually had a water cooler conversation before? What's it like? Does it make you sad?), the station has released
an online "game" called Asylum: Exit Australia that allows you to share in the fun of being torn from your home and being forced to travel across the world. In keeping with the real world statistics, you have about a 1% chance of "winning".
Video
Wait for it. Wait... for... it... There we go.