Bin Laden Fedexed to secret pirate burial and THAT 'racists on a bus' video - 10 things

Hamas-Israeli cease-fire. Everyone: “Thank fuck for that!”

Colleague Andrew P. Street mentioned this yesterday, but it’s worth talking about again… in a deal brokered by Egypt (with the USA as the fluffer), Hamas was coaxed to the table with Israel, yesterday. Prompting Palestinians to take the streets in celebration. At the time of writing, so far the truce is holding up, despite a bus explosion in Tel Aviv

CCTV footage of man king-hitting London teen: good news!

Yesterday, Genevieve Rosen brought you news of a man caught on CCTV, jogging behind a 16-year-old girl and knocking her unconscious. Good news—he has been caught.

Bin Laden given hush-hushed pirate burial

With little ceremony, apart from Islamic burial rites, Osama Bin Laden’s body was tipped into the North Arabian Sea from aircraft carrier, USS Carl Vinson. The burial was revealed in secret emails between senior naval officers, obtained under freedom of information laws. Using terminology borrowed from Hollywood, the navy referred to Bin Laden’s body as “the package” and that it was being delivered by “Fedex.” I suspect the Fedex thing was a lie, see below... FEDEX DON'T OPERATE IN PAKISTAN!

Good news: China’s doing fine

Recovering from its lowest slump in 4 years, China’s manufacturing activity has increased for the first time in over a year. This is good news for Australia, given that so many of our hopes and dreams are pinned to the minerals we send to our Chinese comrades.

Bad news: China’s doing fine

In a report by World Resources Institute, 1200 coal-fired power stations have been proposed globally, not in 1972, but now… as in today. Coal-fired power plants, the biggest sources of greenhouse gas emissions, are still in demand! The flipside to our new world overlords being so productive is that a lot of energy is required to keep them running—of the 1200 stations, China plans to build a staggering 363! Great news for Australia—we’ve got 72 billion metric tonnes of coal to dig up yet! (Ironic tree-planting picture taken from the Australian Coal website)

Fearless Russian traffic drives TOWARD exploding propane tank

In Australia, we’d have the witch’s hats out and high-viz on. In Russia, it’s business as usual as a propane tank at a petrol station in Tver goes up in a massive explosion. You’ll want scoot ahead to the 2’15” mark. Amazingly, no injuries have been reported.

“Fuck you—you’re an embarrassment.”

This video of bus passengers giving a French woman a guided tour of the Australian vernacular gives me stomach cramps. This video does a great job of summing the situation up—kudos to the author. Anyway, fuck you, motherfuckers, you don’t represent us (‘cept that 1,500,000 people have viewed you)! If you really want to know about French people and fitting in, perhaps we could send you to the slums of Saint-Denis, on Paris’ outskirts… you could get to know the locals!

South Korean gets done for pro-North Korean tweets

A South Korean man was arrested this week for "praising, encouraging or propagandizing," under South Korean law. 24-year-old Park Jung-geun, a “freedom of speech activist,” tweeted pro-North Korean propaganda “tantamount to ‘supporting and joining forces with an anti-state entity.’” His 10 month prison term has been suspended—best he goes back to pictures of cats and bitching about the audience on #QANDA. More newsworthy is the absurd image that the Sydney Morning Herald decided to run with the story—check all that bling! The general standing second from the left is most resplendent—no doubt he’s known for, uh, doing a certain thing that many of the other generals won’t do!

UN wants to govern the internet—Google objects strongly

You could be forgiven for assuming that the UN controlling internet governance would be a good thing and that Google’s objection is motivated by greed. Perhaps the latter is ultimately true, but according to Ars Technica, a UN controlled internet would be detrimental to its open nature. With “repressive” governments such as Russia, China and other voting member countries with similarly conservative governments, the fear is that they might turn the internet into a sad and lonely place, devoid of cat gifs and porn.

Is Syria still at war?: YES

I don’t know who shot this video, who it’s in aid of, what this scene actually depicts or whether or not it’s genuine, but please take note of the CHARRED REMAINS OF HUMAN BEINGS BACKED BY ENNIO MORRICONE! Suffice to say, Syria is still at war.

Here’s what Google Translate made of the summary:

Saw what solution Barhabiya the banner of Islam while they were stealing a pipeline to transport oil

Reeve Deir Ezzor - Jufrah: terrorists banner of Islam are stealing the pipeline to transport crude oil and then gets clash with each other during the sharing the spoils as they claim and start shooting at each other, leading to an explosion tube sites more than 120 people dead from the banner of Islam and blackened corpses.

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