Accidentally nude eBay seller makes thousands at home - and you can too! - 10 Things
Who's saying what
Want to up your eBay bids? Maybe follow the lead of an anonymous Oxfordshire woman who pumped her asking price for a ASOS skater dress from £15.99 to over £150,000 by accidentally adding a bottomless picture of herself. The gaffe spawned a Twitter hashtag #ebayyellowskaterdress and hopefully a sexy new trend in online auctioneering. Before you click: it's not what you'd necessarily call safe for work, by the way. And the lesson here is "when photographing things for eBay, pants are optional."
"Runaway train," as Soul Asylum so rightly sang, "never comin' back." And while they were probably not talking about a 22 year old Stockholm woman hired to clean the empty commuter train which she stole and ran off the tracks and into an apartment block, that's what we're going to assume it was, although the song came out in 1992 and the event happened just now. The woman is in a "serious but stable" condition, faces a possible eight year jail term for destroying public property, and no-one has any idea why she did it. But has anyone asked Dave Pirner? Listen to those honeyed vocals - the boy sure knows something.
In the sort of story that makes copy so much naughty fun to write, energy company AGL has announced that it's turning its back on its fracking promise not to do any fracking (in which high-pressure water is pumped underground to force natural gas to get-at-able levels), having decided that the fracking projects in the Western Suburbs can get fracked. "Fracking in urban areas is a risky proposition that could pollute the air and water with methane, other gases and fracking chemicals, posing a risk to health and the environment," Greens MP Jeremy Buckingham told the SMH, confirming that his party do not support fracking in public spaces. AGL's argument is that conventional drilling is hard, fracking is cheap and money is nice, and that those who oppose fracking can get fracking fucked.
Education is the key to success, kids, and that's why Bishop Auckland College in the UK is offering a course in how to win the X Factor. Yes, a mere £95 gets you a 17 week tuition in voice, performance and how to impress judges on television talent quests, which is after all what the pursuit of knowledge is principally about. Information on how to apply for their PhD programme in Big Brother was not available at press time.
While the US Congress braces itself for a lot of arguments over whether or not there's any possible link whatsoever between "crazy people having guns" and "mass shootings of people by crazy people that have guns", the New York state Senate (controlled by the Republican party, incidentally) have passed sweeping gun laws expanding their ban on automatic weapons and making it harder for crazy people to get their mitts on them in the first place. Which shows a disappointing level of bipartisanship and action in the public good - don't these people realise they're letting America down?
Fortunately there's going to be plenty of opportunity for US legislators to argue back and forth about principle and opportunity and the free market and whatever other vague sentiment they want to grandstand about when Congress faces the urgent question "do we actually want a postal service?" It turns out that the USPS is basically bankrupt - losing $US41 billion over the last five years, in fact - and will require Congressional intervention if it is to survive 2013. Oddly, though, it doesn't actually need public money: the USPS has the unique requirement that it pre-fund the retirement of its entire work force, a cute little condition that no other government department is required to honour, which has been in place since 2006 and costs over $US5 billion a year. But if things aren't fixed, we want to pre-reserve the headline "You've Not Mail".
Logies season has barely begun and controversy is brewing over comedian (and one third of the Axis of Awesome) Jordan Raskopoulos' push to have the internet make him win a Logie - and, in return, get to write his acceptance speech. Raskopoulos had a small part in the Julian Assange telemovie Underground and was thus nominated in this year's awards, and since he has zero chance of winning decided he'd use it to make a mockery of the mockery-deserving process of public voting, with those that vote him in also getting to contribute lines to his speech which he promises to read out on television. And we support him 100%: Raskopoulos for Gold Logie in 2013! You read it here first.
Oprah's being terribly coy about whether or not Lance Armstrong actually admitted to taking steroids in his interview with her yesterday (local time), suggesting that it was not quite as unambiguous a mea culpa as might have been expected. Between that and Jodie Foster's weird non-coming-out-announcing-her-non-retirement-sort-of speech at the Golden Globes, is it too much for us to ask our public figures to make some damn sense? Alternatively, is anyone asking the obvious question: has Jodie Foster been taking speech-de-enhancing drugs? Will no-one think of the children?
And finally, have some nightmare fuel in the form of this video of one Ryan Reynolds (no, not the actor - at least, if it is he's really let himself go) feeding fish at Islamorada, Florida, and having a tarpon engulf his entire arm. Enjoy your sleepless nights!