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Crying beauty queens

Crying beauty queens

Though TLC isn’t a channel that airs in Australia, the American programming network has been responsible, despite its patent “let’s gawk at the freak” approach, for some of this year’s most compelling TV events.

While I realise that not everyone has time to torrent multiple episode of 19 Kids and Counting (God Bless those extremely fertile Duggars), Breaking Amish or Sister Wives, it’s likely you’ve contemplated The Half-Tonne Killer (that one’s on us you guys!) or, at the very least, the incontrovertible pull of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo – the person and the show.

Based around Alana Thompson (The propitious Honey Boo Boo and six-year-old circumvent Toddlers and Tiaras – another TLC gem – personality)  the ‘Go-Go’ juice (a concoction of Red Bull and Mountain Dew) sipping ‘white-trash’ daughter of Mama June and Sugar Bear has, if nothing else, managed to re-engrave (and sparked entire discourses of judgement) the presence of beauty pageants into our collective consciousness.

Aside from the show’s classic one-liners – “couponing is better than sex”, “All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous” and “No one can be proper and etiquettely all the time” – the overarching presence of beauty contests in the pop culture has, in recent times, and for better or for worse, dramatically increased.

Not one to want to miss out on the fun, TheVine has gotten amongst the unapologetically shallow culture of beauty pageants this year, and somehow, came across an enthralling Pinterest account that impenitently celebrates the artifice of it all. Needless to say, since initially discovering the Pageant Trivia account (a welcome break from dough-less pizzas and groom-less weddings) the ‘Crying Beauty Queen’ board has become our new favourite thing, and thought we’d share the love with y’all. A hysterical Honey Boo Boo sometimes just isn’t enough to satisfy that need for car-crash entertainment.

So, dear friends, we present the gallery above of all the crying beauty queens we managed to scour from the darkest recesses of the Internet. We hope this fills that void you didn’t even know you were searching to fill.

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Images via Pinterest.




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