I’ve always considered Meryl Streep too, well, thespian to be a beauty icon. Never has she seemed beauty-relevant: always too private and character-driven: never one to assert any personality outside the confines of a role.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love her; I think she’s marvellous. Wait, did I just say marvellous? Hmmm… Anyway, I think she’s an inspiring actress, and I can honestly say I’ve seen dozens of her films, but does she make me want to model my own look on hers?

The answer is yes; she does now. Have you seen the state of the woman’s skin lately? It’s flawless, luminous and taught. She has plump cheeks and wide eyes (no droopy, fleshy lids for Meryl), translucent skin seemingly untainted by age or the excesses of life, and her complexion is peachy, yes peachy. It glows, God damn it! Where is this source; this fountain of ever-lasting beauty and youth Meryl? I want to tap into it.

Clearly I’m feeling this way because I’m turning thirty this year and the very thought of sagging jowls and knees (What’s with that? Why do knees travel south too?) has me in a spin. It’s OK, I hear you say, it happens to the best of us. Yes, I know; I know this. The point is, some people - namely Meryl - know how to reduce the impact of age and I want to know their secret. Don’t you?