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Posted in FASHION by SamCorrey on Dec 01, 11:00AM
“When I grow up… I wanna have boobies”. Thank you Pussycat Dolls: poster girls for porn stars, pole dancers and pre-teens, for sing-song-ing our youthful desires so aptly. The thing is, now that we girls are older, having bosoms is simply not enough; maintaining a firm, blemish-free décolletage to complement our bust is equally as important.

Unless you’re planning on moving to Ipanema, or a frat house, for that matter, day-to-day living will prove an exercise in modesty, therefore it’s vital you keep your chest area, the face of your breasts, if you will - their ambassador - in tip-top condition.

Your décolletage is just as delicate and prone to breakouts and aging as your face, therefore should be treated in a similar fashion. Remove oily build-up and dead skin cells by cleansing with a soap-free product such as DermaVeen’s Soap-free Wash pH 5.5 and exfoliating gently. Try using Dermalogica’s The Ultimate Buffing Cloth in the shower. Following these steps, boost moisture levels by applying Dermalogica’s Antioxidant Hydramist and protect against sun-damage (ie: avoid leathery, lined, freckle-littered breasts) with a generous application of Dermalogica’s Multivitamin Bodyblock.

Cosmetics that provide sheer coverage and luminosity shouldn’t be reserved for your face alone; use them to enhance and perfect your other assets as well. For best results use sparingly, and apply in long, fluid strokes. Focus on your décolletage and shoulders, blend well, and allow plenty of time for the products to dry before dressing. Try MAC’s Face and Body liquid foundation, Clinique’s Uplighting Liquid Illuminator and MODEL CO’s Body Meringue Instant Bronze Shimmer and Gradual Tanner with skin firming properties.

Speaking of firming. Making the most of what you’ve got doesn’t stop at sunscreen and shimmer, there’s an entire industry devoted to lifting your “ladies”. A word of warning though: some products can be full of promise yet rather empty when it comes to real results, so use them in addition to your breast care.

And finally, though I shouldn’t need to remind you, ensuring a desirable décolletage also requires you do regular weight-baring exercise (think, “I must. I must. I must increase my bust”) and wear a well-fitting bra.

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Reader comments (18)

allyR New citizen allyR ON 02 Dec 2008 02:37:46PM When I grow up I wanna have ruppees....not boobies

 

Lulu New citizen Lulu ON 02 Dec 2008 03:56:18PM When I grow up I wanna have groupies!!!! Not boobies or ruppees.....what are ruppees anyway??

 

Pepsi New citizen Pepsi ON 02 Dec 2008 04:10:58PM Lulu is correct - the words are 'I wanna have groupies' (rupees is the currency of a number of countries including Indonesia). You also seemed to have missed the rest of the lyrics: "be careful what you wish for 'cos you might just get it". The point being made that being famous is not necessarily such a great thing.

 

SamCorrey Royalty SamCorrey ON 02 Dec 2008 05:29:57PM According to my sources, "groupies" features in the radio version only... I checked.

 

Dodge New citizen Dodge ON 02 Dec 2008 06:41:34PM What's a poll dancer? :| I'd say young women around the country already have enough to worry about. Do we really need to add their cleavage's complexion not meeting the standards of the air-brushed glitterati to the list?

 

missdemeanour Royalty missdemeanour ON 02 Dec 2008 09:25:46PM Poll dancers dance on voting day.

 

CandyClouds Royalty CandyClouds ON 03 Dec 2008 03:58:14AM “When I grow up… I wanna have boobies” I thought it was "I wanna have groupies"???

 

Jems New citizen Jems ON 03 Dec 2008 12:00:08PM It IS 'i want to have groupies' ... as confirmed by PCD on The Ellen show why does theVine continue to let writers write rubbish like this??

 

Abe New citizen Abe ON 03 Dec 2008 12:33:49PM Nice twist on the song. I would certainly like to "grope boobies" when I grow up. Damn it, already grown up and still ain't groping boobies!

 

Tobler1 Royalty Tobler1 ON 03 Dec 2008 01:11:51PM Why is it that, that avatar (ie. Jems & Dodge) has to have a hateful user behind it? its supposed to be cute and loveable? ps. WHO HATES BOOBS!? quit hatin.

 

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