Au revoir mes petites peluche doigts. That's how you say haute couture week is over in French*. Valentino, Jean Paul Gaultier and Eli Saab wrapped up the week with astounding shows that will have you killing a Russian oligarch and living in his skin. Did I just say that out loud?

Kylie was at the JPG show and from the two pieces above, you can see why. She needs both these pieces for the coming world tour. She needs to get her hands on them before Ga-Ga does. Beyond the stage costumes, the collection had that certain Frenchness that JPG excels in. How is it that he always delivers such a French collection? Silhouettes and fabrication I say. Have a look at those wide-legged cropped trousers with tight double-breasted jacket and sailor cap, the sequined striped top and the Joan of Arc cage dress. You couldn't be more French if you were a bagutte in a beret riding your pushbike to the eiffel tower to drink red wine with your mistress.

I had a sharp sucking in of breath and squeek when I saw the MASSIVE bow at the back of a Valentino ultra-mini dress. A sharp sucking in of breath, I tell you. I let out a sigh at the same bow at the back of the most simple elegant long-sleeved sheath dress from the Valentino duo Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pier Paolo Piccioli.

My breathing issues lasted until I saw the snow-white range from Eli Saab. Such cool whiteness calmed my coutured soul, and I was back in the room. Look at the freaking cleverness on the one-armed knit body con. Check out those excellent shoes. If I could ever get my hands on one of these little Saab frocks, I would definitely give up my uncontrollable tendency to throw drinks down my front. Or I'd at least change to white spirits. Can I get this mai tai in white please? Cheers. 

*That's a lie. Or if you're French une mensonge.