Toddlers and Tiaras goes GAGA
They say the world is going to end in 2012. After this week’s episode of
Toddlers and Tiaras I believe it. For surely nothing could be a clearer indicator of the pending apocalypse than this clip, in which a mother sews steaks onto her 8-year-old daughter’s underpants in an attempt to replicate Lady Gaga’s famous “meat dress” for a runway show. “We just wanted something that was gonna wow the judges,” she says, as her mini beauty queen Laci squeals at the blood dripping down her leg. Sadly mum ran out of time to fully drape her daughter in bacteria-covered meat, and the team had to settle for plan B – a spandex leotard and a sequin-covered “egg”. Which Laci then fell out of on stage. Poetry.
Watch it here.
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Tyra 'I Love Yous' to pose
If you thought Tyra Banks couldn’t appear any bats*** crazier than she does on
America’s Next Top Model, think again. The model and TV presenter has cropped up this week in a new video for uber cool fashion mag “I Love You” in which she dances like a three year old and pulls some seriously demented facial expressions while dressed as a mental patient from 1987. Albeit a wealthy mental patient – her outfits are by Marc Jacobs, Paul Smith, YSL and Emporio Armani, among others. “I just told her to perform, do her thing and to stop when she felt like it, but she didn’t stop, she kept on voguing,” says photographer Marcus Gaab of the shoot. Holy hell, she just kept voguing? For how long? Twenty minutes? Five days? I can imagine Tyra Banks voguing for five days, stopping only for the occasional “smize” break. The clip is supposed to be some sort of statement on "love and hate”. All I know is, I wouldn’t want to get stuck in a lift with Tyra Banks.
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Mizrahi on Wendy
Designer and TV host Isaac Mizrahi managed to achieve the seemingly impossible on US TV on Wednesday – getting Wendy Williams to shut up. On Williams’ talk show to discuss this week’s premiere of Project Runway All Stars, Mizrahi politely let her get through approximately three seconds of an introduction before slyly waggling his new wedding ring in the air, setting off thundering applause, squeals and cheers of the kind only daytime talk show audiences can muster. It managed to silence Williams for, ooh, about five seconds. Still, that could be a new record. Mizrahi announced he and husband Arnold Germer tied the knot in New York on November 30, opting for a civil ceremony after being “terrified” by the idea of a big, fancy wedding. Meanwhile, if we’d known this was the most effective way of getting Williams to clam up we would have tried it long ago.
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Beyonce's Sartorial Duty
The entire world is still holding its collective breath for the impending birth of the messiah, otherwise known as Beyonce and Jay-Z’s first baby, with rumours the New York based singer is about to drop any minute. Despite being about as pregnant as it’s possible to be, Beyonce has still been tripping around town in designer gear and high heels, for once out-crazying Lady Gaga in the mental fashion stakes. Pregnancy ain’t gon’ stop her FIERCENESS, Y’ALL. To remind everyone that she is still “Queen B” of the style set, last Friday Beyonce released a YouTube video titled “Sartorial Duty”, a four minute reflection on her various magazine covers and memorable style moments during 2011. It’s also clearly a love letter to her favourite designers, or rather, their love letter to her: Roberto Cavalli is quoted as saying “Beyonce wearing one of my dresses is harmony”, while Givenchy designer Riccardo Tisci says “Givenchy is made for Beyonce”. Although perhaps not when she’s pregnant – the star’s baby belly is notably absent from the entire video.
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25 ways to wear a scarf
Just because we’re almost a whole week into 2012 doesn’t mean we’re tired of all those “best of 2011” lists, does it? Oh wait, it does? Well too bad, because YouTube just released its list of Top 5 Fashion Videos of last year and the number one clip makes such an important statement about humanity that it cannot be ignored. OK, that’s not true. But the fact that the “25 Ways to Wear a Scarf” video has racked up almost 9 million views does suggest that reality TV isn’t going to go away any time soon. I mean, if people are willingly spending a whole five minutes watching a girl wrap a piece of material around her neck, the Kardashians still have a bright future, right? In other news – who knew there were so many ways to wear a god damn scarf?
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