A (MONEY) SHOT OF ALCO-PORN
Take famous fashion photographer David LaChappelle, add 29-year-old model and sometimes girlfriend of Kanye West, Amber Rose, and stir in some sexual innuendo that’s as subtle as an alcopop hangover and you’ve got the controversial new ad campaign for Smirnoff’s latest vodka flavours, “Fluffed” and “Whipped”. Of course, the names of the new drinks refer to the “fluffed marshmallow” and “whipped cream” flavours and have nothing whatsoever to do with pornography or S&M. What gave you that idea? Oh, the TV commercial in which Ms Rose squirts cream into a red lipsticked mouth, licks her lips and sucks her fingers before squeaking “Vodka never felt this good”? You, my friend, have a dirty mind. OK, so this certainly isn’t the first time that fashion and sex have been used to sell an alcoholic drink, but I can’t help feeling this is just one more stilettoed step forward into the pornification of young females by the advertising industry. They might as well have had Rose shriek “Smirnoff – take your top off and do what the boys tell you!” What do you think – is Smirnoff’s “Fluffed and Whipped” campaign super stylish or just stupidly sexual?
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GIRLS ON FILM
US cable network HBO has unveiled the preview for its new series Girls, a comedy/drama about a bunch of single, 20-something women trying to live the dream in New York city. That’s right, it’s just like Sex and the City! Except it isn’t. At all. Particularly when it comes to the fashion and styling. Whereas SATC was about a bunch of inexplicably wealthy women tripping about in designer clothes they couldn’t actually afford and buying shoes for an hour each week, Girls looks more like a show about the poor shop girls who SOLD those shoes. With what seems like a sassy script and Hollywood’s golden child Judd Apatow on board as executive producer, it’s got all the hallmarks of being a hit. Pity about the title though. I think it should be called “FINALLY, A SHOW ABOUT WOMEN LIVING IN NEW YORK THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND THEM WEARING MANOLO BLAHNIKS”. (Catchy, right?) Girls hits US screens in April 2012 – no word yet on whether it will make it down under.
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ANDREJ PEJIC IS REALLY EXCITING
Are you on fashion’s F list? Is the only model you know made out of balsa wood? Does the only runway you’re ever likely to get close to have QANTAS written on it? Don’t despair! This clip from Fashion TV, filmed this week at a party for Sao Paolo fashion week in Brazil, lets you in on all the exclusive thrills: models standing around looking bored, journalists standing around looking bored and people speaking with accents so thick you’re not sure if they’re saying hello or ordering another drink. DOESN’T IT LOOK FUN? Of course, if you’re not thin, beautiful or super rich the only way to get access to this world is to become a fashion reporter, but if you’re considering that you might want to skip forward to 1:58 and witness the coma-inducing “interview” with Melbourne model Andrej Pejic, otherwise known as the global posterboy for androgyny. Not only does it accurately demonstrate the occupational hazards of interviewing models (ie: the risk of slipping into unconsciousness and knocking one’s head on a tray of cocktails) it also shows Pejic has no idea how to blow a kiss. (At least, I THINK that’s what he was doing). My favourite part of this video is at 2:22 when the camera focuses for a full five seconds on a bunch of slack-jawed models sitting on the floor Facebooking on their blackberries. OH, THE GLAMOUR AND EXCITEMENT. Not even the Jack White backing track can save this one.
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WOULD YOU LIKE VOCAL FRY WITH THAT?
Those of you old enough to remember the 1990s for more than just Rugrats and Spongebob Squarepants might recall the time Friends star Jennifer Aniston changed the world of fashion by getting her hair cut. Or in the early 2000s when J-Lo swung her booty onto the scene and everyone went mad for “bum enhancing” underwear. Yes, the celebrity factor has always been important when it comes to fashion trendsetting, and now it seems reality TV slash sex tape star Kim Kardashian has sparked a fad of her own – growling when one speaks. Apparently the latest must-have accessory for young, American women isn’t a designer handbag or shoe - it’s a speech impediment. A study of women’s speech patterns by scientists from Long Island University, New York, has revealed the prevalence of “vocal fry”, a low, creaky, growling inflection produced by fluttering the vocal cords. Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian are big supporters of the vocal fry trend, which although potentially damaging to their vocal cords is probably still a better fashion option than supporting any other kind of “fry”.
Listen to some vocal fry
here and
here.
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HE’S SO HOT RIGHT NOW. BACK THEN, NOT SO MUCH.
Thanks to the homo-erotic vampire fleshfest that is True Blood, the whole world wants to sleep with 6 foot Swedish sex god Alexander Skarsgard. Or at least get a small bite in the neck from him. But back in 2001, before he was the 1000-year-old viking vampire Eric Northman, Skarsgard played a seminal role in one of history’s most important fashion films – Zoolander. You don’t remember him? For shame! Without Skarsgard’s skinny, shapeless olive-green-shirted Meekus, Derek Zoolander would never have gone out for that ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINO! Virtually the entire film hangs on his character*. So this week I’m wrapping up the Five with a special tribute to Mr Skarsgard’s rise from “not” to “hot”, as well as the 10th anniversary of the world’s best modelling documentary (what do you mean it wasn’t a documentary? What?). Enjoy!
*May not actually be true.