Oh la la, it's laaaaadies day at the races! After what we witnessed at Derby Day and the Melbourne Cup, we have some important takeaways on how to ensure you live up to the promise of the event's unofficial name.
Here are some pointers on acting like a lady:
- No matter how ‘off-road’ you expect your day to get, never… ever, resort to wearing rubber heel protectors. Outdoor condoms for your heels, are So. Not. Chic. You know what is chic? Wooden heels.
- Stay hydrated. In keeping with our national tradition, it’s important to get sloshed at the races. But, it’s also important to have glowing skin and a healthy liver. Holding a large bottle of water will always make you look thinner and appear better than people. Blogger IMBOYCRAZY also supports this, and adds toting around a 1 L bottle of San Pellegrino will make you look thin, better than others, AND pretentious. I say carry/drink the Pellegrino. I do.
- We all know ‘if you can’t tone it- tan it’ but there is a difference between ‘fake tan’ and ‘Dorito tan’. Yes I know, it has been tricky to get out in the sun, but when selecting the right colour for your skin, always, I repeat always, choose light to medium.
- Your clear bra straps almost fooled me. Almost.
Honey, just because they’re clear, doesn’t mean they’re invisible. Instead, try co-ordinating your Race day outfit with a delicate lace bra. Or go for a nude strapless style. This also applies for Hollywood tape. Approach with caution.
- If there is a line for the toilets find an alternative solution. Ask someone who is immaculately dressed for directions to the private bathrooms. Or if you’re desperate, find a waiter and ask to use the staff facilities. You’ll thank me later.
- If you’ve just met someone and they’re looking around whilst you’re talking to them it means they don’t want to make out with you.
- It’s always a good idea to keep lipstick, perfume and mints in your bag.
- Should you take fold-up ballet flats in case your feet get sore? No. You should wear shoes that won't make your feet sore. Taking the pain is punishment for poor footwear decisions.
- If the bar is closing and you’re faced with the choice between beer and house white, always choose house white. Beer equals bloat.
- Nobody wears peep toe shoes anymore. The style, not the brand.
- If your headpiece is annoying you now, imagine how frustrated you’ll be in three hours.
- A floral dress for Spring Racing? Wow, innovative. They do make prints of other things, you know.