In Australia, ‘dating’ isn’t the phenomenon it is here in New York, but sometimes even us laid back, devil-may-care antipodeans like to indulge the romantic fantasy. OK, maybe I’m grasping at straws here, but level with me—no matter where you are in the world there’s always the thrill of the first date, or the first hang out, or the first time you arrange to see someone new, both of you knowing that you like each other yet neither of you knowing what the consequences of that liking will be.
The lead up to this first encounter has an intoxicating effect—you blush like a school girl every time you receive a text, gab about it to all your friends, and fantasise about that first kiss (and if you’re anything like me then you’re definitely pondering girth and length too). But there’s one small stress that pervades all this wonderment—what to wear on the first date?
Dressing for a first date is easy if you’re the happy-go-lucky kind who accepts that if a guy is going to like you then he’s going to like you for you, and to hell with him if he doesn’t. It’s also easy if you’re familiar with the person, and they’ve already seen you looking fine and sassy—in this scenario you can fall into the date with sartorial ease, knowing that you already have/will again have your chance to impress.
But what of that date with the guy you met once at a bar? The guy you eye on at the local coffee shop? The one who’s a friend of a friend you met at that party three weeks ago? What are you supposed to wear when that guy asks you out? Moreover, when he’s planning the date and you have no idea what the mood is going to be (will it be a picnic? A fancy restaurant? A trendy dive bar?) what the hell are you supposed to wear?
Having dated men rather gratuitously here in New York, I’ve found a formula for first date dressing that is as mind bogglingly simple as is it heart breakingly difficult to pull off, and it centres around the age old virgin/whore dichotomy that has for so long ruled male perceptions of women. Call me a conformist, whatever—this is my deal.
It’s basically like this: you want to look like the girl he’s going to make breakfast in bed for, who’s going to look so super cute when she’s sneezing or trying to reach something off a high shelf that his heart swells with love, who is mature, sweet and intelligent enough to bring home to mother while at the same time looking like the girl he wants to throw over his knee, spank the hell out of, and just generally do completely filthy things too. It’s a delicate balance.
You want to start with a dress—always a dress. It needs to be girlie enough to throw out the ‘good with parents vibe’ but short enough that he wants to stick his hand up it. Shoes are negotiable. I would opt for heels but stick to wedges—no stilettos; you don’t want to seem like a high maintenance princess. Flats are fine too but no sneakers—you don’t want to look like a slob.
Hair stays down—no matter what length keep it neat (to impress mum) but let it fall across your face from time to time (so he can imagine brushing out of your eyes tenderly, or yanking it back during sex). Make-up should always be natural, too much says hooker and that loses the love/mum card, plus he’ll probably only want to do you from behind and there’s only one winner in that situation (it ain’t you, babe). Also, no one wants to leave behind a swag of foundation and lipstick on a man’s face after a first kiss.
At the end of the day though, dating should be fun—don’t stress too much and be yourself. It’s important not to wear anything that makes you feel uncomfortable because it will show if you’re constantly shifting and adjusting. I would also recommend getting ready beforehand with the girls—there’s nothing like your girlfriends, some trash talk and a glass of wine to rev you up for what could be the most embarrassing/awkward/LOL-worthy/romantic/life altering experience of your life.