How Duchess Kate’s offspring will influence trends
And so what if I’ve already written one story about her pregnancy this week? Duchess Kate’s child-bearing is officially the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to Duchess Kate – or the British Royal Family in general since, well, Wallis – so I intend to suck it dry of material until she gets pregnant again. Here’s a list of fashion things that will change once the royal baby arrives.
The royals of Europe have a tendency to dress their offspring like little versions of themselves, and since the Duchess has proven to be quite the stubborn little blueblood when it comes to fashion – and especially the bargain kind – this will no doubt be the case with the English as well. Don’t put your hopes up for a parade of adorable Petit Bateau getups and the greatest hits of Harrods’ children’s department. This baby will be the spokesperson for a new era of trendy cheap childrenswear. Whatever the child’s sex, expect a lot of GAP and COS and other acronym high-end high street brands mixed with the odd Baby Brora. (And possibly some Jigsaw Kids if The DoC still gets her staff discount.)
Take it from someone who’s recently strolled down the streets of Copenhagen: once Crown Princess Mary named her first daughter Isabella, every little 4-year-old girl in that country is called Isabella. Whatever The Cambridges go for, expect a horde of Generation 2014 brats to be given the same name. England’s royal boy’s names are pretty straightforward. For a boy, it’ll be Charles, William, Andrew, Edward, James, Henry, Arthur, Philip, George or Albert, and since all the child’s relatives already own the first few, I’m putting my money on one of the last three – and especially Albert, because it’s chic. For a girl, it’ll no doubt be Elizabeth. Probably Elizabeth Diana.
Royalty-as-parental-role-models was a concept that really suffered during Prince Charles and Princess Diana baby raising days, and they chose to employ a strict parenting style during Prince William and Prince Harry’s childhoods similar to what Prince Charles was exposed to as a child himself. Being a rebel princess and all, Duchess Kate will no doubt be all folksy and down-to-earth with her parenting, which will set a really boring but nonetheless charming example for her subjects, who will eat it raw and hail The Cambridges as ‘the great modern parents’. Personally I’m slightly nervous to see if they’ll go as far as to abandon Eton and the whole boarding school system in favour of a more ‘modern’ approach. There are limits to what the old institution can take.