I've avoided the Hilton sisters in the Owww My Eyes column for so long because they are such easy targets. But this week I can't leave them alone. Nicky Hilton, you've got the fairytale princess thing going on and Paris, you are dressed like A BUMBLEBEE*! You are a grown-up dressed as a bee, a bumble-fricking-bee in public. For fek's sake I've seen cute bee outfits on children. CHILDREN. They are those small people who live in a fantasy land where parents pay for everything, there's no work and ... oh wait.

Nicky, while you're not dressed as apian shame, you made the mistake of wearing the Matthew Williamson for H&M dress the same week as Katy Perry. Poor you. Perry actually did the better job of it, since you topped your free frock with a heidi braid and pretty pretty make-up. Boring. And odd, since you're also in my best dressed this week. Maybe you were confused because your insect outfit was a ladybird and we all know they're loaded with syphillis.

Note: this Family Guy episode neatly illustrates the idiocy of that happy pup face P Hilton repeatedly pulls for the paps. Sorry about the low quality, FG don't like their eps on YouTube.




* Yes, caps are yelling.