Two good things and one very sad thing have happened in the Material Girl universe. One, Madonna Ciccone has released a clothing range. Two, Lourdes Ciccone Leon has a new blog to talk about those clothes. The awful part is that because Madonna spent all her money on children from Malawi, Jesus and Kabbalah, she had none left to send Lourdes to school, 13 year-old Lola can't spell. Instead, Lourdes' new blog reads as though she was schooled by the Dinowhore over at Lifelounge (follow her on twitter, totezdinowhore, she's a real doll).

"Helluuur thurrrr, I’m Lola and this is my first blog entry so it’s kind of like ummmm…." Awful, isn't it? 'Hello' and 'there' are the words I think she was after. If only she had been taught to spell.

The neglect goes on, this time, in the realms of history and punctuation: "OK but no joke gladiator sandals are OUT. They came out in summer 2008 and I was like, ok those are really cute. Then 2009 comes around and people are still wearing them so I’m like, ok whatever it’s just a phase. BUT NOOOOO. Because good old 2010 is now coming along and people are STILL wearing them, and then I was just like OK NO! It’s been three years people COME ON!!!!!!!!! I’m just like what????"

Lolita! Have you never seen the movie Gladiator with Russell Crowe? If you have, you'd know that Gladiator sandals have been around since the year 2000. Derr.

The collection which will be sold at Macy's, the US chain store, features key looks from Madge's transformative career. There's a Desperately Seeking Susan-style biker jacket, a tulle-skirted dress with built-in bustier, plenty of lace, fake pearls, crop tops and militaria. Madge and Lola promise the collection won't just feature desperate re-hashes of her best looks from the glory days of Like a Prayer, Vogue and Papa Don't Preach. Rather modern pieces like blazers and brogues will be imbued with the Material Girl spirit.

There's no online stores just yet, but hang around on eBay following the range's launch on August 3rd, and you'll be able to pick something up, albeit at inflated eBay prices.

Follow Lourdes on twitter MaterialGirlCol