Owww my eyes 18

You know the AFL's Brownlow medal night of gowns? This is rugby league's version, the Dally M, and boy does it hurt. Ouch, my peepers.

In some kind of attempt to scrape together a semblance of hype, the Daily Telegraph has put on this rugger 'noight of noights' , as Kath and Kim would say. They probably hoped they'd get national TV coverage and the frock page in New Idea. Picture it - all the girls in for the night on the couch spotting Helen Manuell designs and working out which frock is real silk and which is Tencel.

Your end result with the Dally M is a straight-up bogan fest with a bunch of bogan gowns, big bogan men and bogan peroxided hair-dos. Check out this irony-free Princess Bride reference above.

I've always said it's not really fair to expect elite atheletes to be talented in areas other than their sport. Justin Madden is an exception, not a rule. And so it is unfair of anyone to hope that the league players could a) dress themselves for a flash event and b) choose a non-bogan girlfriend with the ability to choose a tasteful dress.

That said, one of the girls from Incu goes out with a rugby league player. She's not the red carpet here though. That's reserved for the serious polyester satin devotee and no-one else.

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