I get loads of new jewellery sent over to me at TheVine. But not 'til I went to The Union Hotel in Fitzroy to watch the Dream Team get smashed(ish) by Victoria did I come across jewellery that involves a John Mayer story. And since JM is so bloody funny - his humour gland developed in direct opposite proportions to his musical gland - my ears perked up.
Then the jewellery designer mate of the drunk Collingwood supporter I'm sitting with drops John Mayer into the equation.
"
Woah, woah, woah, woah," I said. "
John Mayer bought your jewellery?"
"Yeah," says Jared Laoumtzis from
Cherrytree Road. "I called the store to see how my new pieces were going and they're like 'John Mayer just walked in and bought three pieces'. So I ran outside called my Mum and told her. She had no idea who John Mayer was, so I hung up on her and called someone younger."
Jared's pieces are all hand-made one-off pieces made from recycled and found objects. Sterling silver pieces are up to $249, bracelets only $59.
John Mayer is well-bejewelled now by an indie Melbourne designer, in addition to being ridiculously wealthy and funny and has a way with large-breasted famous women.
To wit:
* "I don't mind making sissy rock... I'll rock your ass sensitive-style."
* "Have all the chords in music been found? Most people say yes. I say 'not so fast, asshole.'"
* "Go back and listen to
Daughters, bitches."
* Justin Long:
"have you been healing?"
John Mayer: "I'm like wolverine. I'm healing."
* "If he can't get the girl, why doesn't he just tell her he's John Mayer."