So we finally know who the real Gossip Girl is...
After six seasons of pristine costuming, embroiled romances, illicit scandals and Serena’s painstaking narcissism (look, they were all excruciatingly self-involved, but by far, she was the absolute worst) Gossip Girl aired its last-ever episode last night (or so our friends from the US tell us) and tragics everywhere were awarded a frustrated sense of closure as it was revealed that – SPOILER ALERT – Dan Humphrey was the blast-baiting maniac.
Indeed, all this time it was the show’s perpetual outsider who was making/ breaking the lives of Manhattan’s elite from the Inside (see what we did there?!) and, TBH, we’re not really all that surprised.
Penn Badgely’s now officially-sociopathic character reveals in the supreme installment, “I wasn't born into this world, maybe I could write myself into it. Every writer needs his muse. When Serena came back from boarding school, I wrote my first post about me, I may have been a joke but at least people were talking about me.”
So, pretty much, he tricked Serena into loving him and the gang into accepting him via a longstanding and extremely manipulative course of victimization - and boy, did it work! Yet while most of the characters were understandably furious (Blair declared Dan “ruined our lives”) Serena, in all of her lacking-self-awareness glory, was “okay with it.”
“What he did with that power was to write a love letter. Not just to me but to all of us. It made me realise that I belong here and so does Dan.” Spoken like a true egomaniac, S!
As Vulture points out, it “fits, ish. Mr. Lonely Boy himself turned out to be the cruel chronicler of our UES darlings, and it makes a certain amount of sense: Who else but he would be so enamored with his own chronic patheticness? As for who else it could have been, Georgina was too obvious, Serena too victimized, Blair too busy scheming with other ways to destroy people, Nate too dumb, Chuck not interested enough in others' lives, and anyone else would have felt like a cop-out.” And they’re right, for what the show often lacked in narrative coherence - Bart Bass’ death and subsequent resurrection (what is this, Dallas?), every single person sleeping with each other, and the painful introduction of new characters so Nate would be awarded with fleeting, falsified and extremely novel dimension - the revelation was definitely satisfying, though still cheesy enough to remain true to the show’s not-sure-if-they’re-joking-or-not histrionics.
The ep also revealed that little Jenny Humphrey was in on all of it too (that somehow makes it OK?!) and, by the end of the offshoot, Gossip Girl (the show, not the person) shows Blair and Chuck getting married (spawning a little boy, Henry, five years down the line) and Serena and Dan also eventually tying the knot.
Now, let’s discuss our feelings before the inevitable movie is released and ruins everything forever. XOXO.