Aieeeee! Look out! Sharks! Etc.
Since time immemorial, this has been the basic human response to sharks (well, probably minus the “etc”... Unless you’re running with a particularly lackadaisical form of terror). And with good cause! Our be-gilled, many-toothed friends are goddamn scary, even if they haven’t yet managed to work out how to walk, breathe air or use lasers. Yet.
So, with the concept of these horrific death machines latching on to your favourite limb/genital hanging in your mind, it’s time to embark on a journey through the best and (mostly) worst treatments of all things shark that cinema has given us.
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10. Dinoshark
Does what it says on the tin
.
9. Sharktopus
Does what it says on the tin.
8. Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus
Does what it says– ah, you get the idea.
7. The Last Shark
This low-budget Italian monstrosity is next best thing to a shot for shot rip off the original
Jaws film that was actually marketed as
Jaws 3 in Europe. Surprisingly, they lost the ensuing lawsuit. On the plus side that is definitely one of the more realistic sharks you will ever see.
6. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
Top to bottom this film is pretty tawdry affair – much of the shark footage was stripped from old National Geographic documentaries – but it gets extra points because it’s home to
one of the best sex-related lines ever committed to celluloid.
(Continued next page)