'Thor 2' loses a second director
Who's saying what
Branagh cited the lengthy period of SFX post-production as his reason for demurring another shot at superhero greatness (odd, given the extreme length and meticulous art direction of his Hamlet). This made Chris Hemsworth - who Branagh memorably described as "a darling lad" - sad: “Ken built that character, and everything I know about the Thor world I learned while shoulder-to-shoulder with Ken. I learned so much from him.”
Then, in August, Brian Kirk - director of various episodes of Game Of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire - was touted as a potential director for the megabucks sequel, though Marvel declined to comment.
That fizzled, and then Patty Jenkins - director of the Charlize Theron-Oscar-winner Monster - took the reins.
Well, wouldn't you know it, Jenkins and Marvel Studios have just now parted ways, thanks to ye olde "creative differences". According to Deadline's report: "Her exit had to do with creative differences, but the feeling is that she’ll probably end up working on one of these superhero films, but perhaps not on a sequel. Marvel will have to move fast because it has to meet a November 15, 2013 release date for the sequel."
So, it's clearly anyone's game. With that in mind, we'd like to throw a few suggestions onto the table - with a suggested plot outline for each - you can thank us at 2013's BoxOfficeMojo.com Top 10 Earners party, Marvel.
When Thor is injured after Loki wreaks havoc on downtown Los Angeles, Jane Foster throws herself into an intense training regime with an ex-Israeli Army sergeant (played by a beefed-up Adrien Brody), and goes hand-to-hand with Loki in a showdown that will change the world. (Shot on digital RED by Barry Ackroyd.)
Five years has passed. Thor's powers are put to the test when Loki suffers a massive nervous breakdown and manages to usher giant insects through a rip in the space-time fabric. To save the world he goes to find Jane, now working in Las Vegas, and puts together a crack team of experts - including Noah Emmerich and Saffron Burrows - in order to save the universe.
Waters sacks everyone, and casts Kato Kaelin as Thor, Damon Wayans as Loki, and Jennifer Coolidge as Jane. Stellan Skarsgard is permitted to return as Dr Erik Selvig, provided he plays Selvig as a South African interior decorator. The film focuses on the group's pilgrimage to the birthplace of Christopher Reeve, because Waters doesn't care about the separation of the Marvel and DC universes.
Payne pushes Marvel's deadline back to 2017, and creates a finely-tuned tale of superhero existentialism, finding Thor doubting his powers once again before finding inspiration when Jane introduces him to a wisecracking bodybuilder-turned-local politician. He finds a role for Paul Giamatti.
When Heimdall gets stoned and further damages the bifrost, Thor and Loki find themselves in Santa Barbara in 1992. They must do their best to assimilate, all the while attempting to return to the present day with the assistance of a hilarious physics student, played by Sean William Scott in his comeback role.
LARS VON TRIER
Everything is shot on hand-held camera using only natural light, and the film features a disturbing sex scene prominently involving Mjolnir's handle. There is a prolonged sequence of insects swarming all over an Escalade parked in front of a Hooters in the middle of the desert.
Now it's your turn: who would you pick to direct Thor 2? Whoever you choose, you'll probably do a better job than Marvel are doing.
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