You know what’s incredibly uplifting? Watching three of the most brutal Australian films ever made, in a row. I’ve just peeled my stricken face off the floor after watching Romper Stomper, Suburban Mayhem, and The Boys. It was a celebration of abuse, violence, sexual deviancy, alcoholism, and drug abuse, but I did watch it with a friend while eating custard out of mugs, sitting on what we dubbed “The Custard Couch”.

I don’t know who decides to spend a “girls night” this way. Girl’s nights are supposed to involve wine and cake and ironic jokes about pillow fights. I don’t know what it says about the company I keep that instead of painting our nails we opt to be kicked in the soul for over six hours but I guess that’s just the way my particular biscuit crumbles. I certainly didn’t get where I am today with pleasant escapism. No, brutal and harsh devastation it is for me. It really makes my own life seem quite comfy in comparison, plus, these movies are all really good.

Australia does do a good dark movie doesn’t it? Candy, Little Fish, The Proposition, Wake in Fright, Picnic At Hanging Rock, Wolf Creek, Bad Boy Bubby, Walkabout, just to name a few. Whether it’s tied to our genocidal and penal past, or to our deadly and unforgiving landscape, Australian filmmakers love to unease the shit out of you. Personally, I love it, and it makes me very proud. Uncomfortable and proud.

Romper Stomper (1992) has been on my list for a while but my “list” it must be said, is an elusive mistress, who taunts me mercilessly day and night with all the films I really should see, and then evaporates like smoke whenever I set foot in a video shop and leaves me renting Meet The Parents 2 or something.



Romper stars a young and attractive Russel Crow, in fact Rusty is attractive to a fault in this film and it made me feel incredibly uncomfortable because being a neo-nazi is not a trait I usually look for is a man. Is it really bad that I kind of like the skinhead aesthetic? There’s something adorable about homemade tattoos and red suspenders. Realistically, the less adorable practice of hate crimes and gang bashing sort of out-weigh the cool outfits, but if there are any skinheads out there who are into racial equality and Doc Martins please feel free to contact me through TheVine.


Romper Stomper follows a group of skinheads in Melbourne in the 80’s, who do all manner of horrible things to the Asian population around them. It’s incredibly violent, incredibly vicious and any sense of control is completely abandoned as we follow an army of identical looking guys thrash their way around, destroying every thing in sight. The film has great sound design, which verges on the arty side of things but not enough to distract from the story and there are also several sausage dogs- which are undeniably hilarious in any context.

Suburban Mayhem (2006) is a great movie with a terrible title. I think the word “mayhem” usually implies some kind of “hijinx” which in turn implies “wackiness” which certainly leads people up the wrong path with this movie. Unfortunately I can’t really think of a better name, even though I’m excellent at naming things. When I was three I had an imaginary friend who was a dog called “Brainbread”, true story. Anyway, I did try to come up with a new title bearing in mind the lead character, who’s a heinously self centred abusive sociopath with lax morals and a less than stringent policy for choosing sexual partners (she’s a strumpet), but any alternative titles I came up with just sounded like pornos, so I guess “Suburban Mayhem” will just have to stick for now.



The film follows Katrina, the above-mentioned strumpet, a 19 year old new mother who goes on a bit of a criminal bender. The acting in this film was good. I was expecting this film to go down the overacting path that many Aussie films do, with Baz Luhrmann style sound effects, like whenever a character turns their head and it goes “whoosh!” like someone whipping a feather duster through the air. What’s with that? There’s far too much of that. Lets get rid of that device all together please, Australian filmmakers, thanks. Anyway Suburban Mayhem didn’t have any of that, which is good.


The Boys (1998) we watched on VCR. I know, I totally keep it real. It took us about 35 minutes to hook it up and figure out how to get the movie playing (we had to rewind the tape. It made a really loud whirring sound, it was really retro) and as soon as we figured it out we tweeted our success (just kidding, that would be appalling).



The Boys is made by Rowan Woods, a national treasure, who also made Little Fish, and it is pretty much the closest thing to a perfect film that I have ever seen. The sound in this film is exemplary as is the excellent camerawork, which makes you feel uncomfortable, like you’re trapped in the house with the characters. Most notable though is the superb acting by Toni Collette, Anthony Hayes, Lynette Curran (who I personally believe is one of Australia’s most underrated actors), and David Wenham. This movie has a visceral and physical effect on me. I’ve seen it several times and in the aftermath of every viewing I feel physically tense and often ill. This is what a movie should do; enter into you in such a way that you take it with you for much longer than the two hours it plays.

By the time we were finished it was after midnight. We were pale and square-eyed, dregs of custard drying in mugs before us on the coffee table, and we were both undeniably shaken. These three movies asked us to do something incredibly hard. They asked us to identify with humans who commit inhuman acts of cruelty. We examine life and our existing values through a new lens. We realise that the darkness in these typically dark Australian films lives within all of us, and sometimes it merely takes looking from a different angle, set of circumstances, or background to see it.

Sometimes we just want to see Rusty Crowe in white undies. And sausage dogs.