Originally posted at Lifelounge
Fans of the dearly departed Jeff Buckley now have something even more
depressing than his music to cry over: Robert Pattinson looks
set to play the musician in a long-awaited film
chronicling his life. Whilst we're
hoping the Twilight star's
acting will rival other recent biographical portrayals (such as Colin
Firth's much-lauded King George VI), the cynic in us thinks the whole thing
may end up a bit of an anti-hallelujah.
Luckily, there's a whole lot of biographical films throughout history for
R-Patz to get some tips from. Here's a short list of the great, the strange,
and the very, very tragic.
Robert De Niro as Jake La Motta
De Niro gained 20kg in muscle and approximately 5kg in Academy Award gold
for playing a middleweight boxing champion/psychopath in Martin Scorsese's
1980 masterpiece,
Raging Bull. Fans will be pleased to hear that
he'll soon be appearing in another Scorsese project,
The Irishman,
with co-
Raging Bull-actor Joe Pesci.
Salma Hayek as Frida Kahlo
Anybody that can make a monobrow look sexy deserves an A+ for effort.
Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford
Producers had to wait until this Oscar-winning actress died before they
could safely release this film based upon her “estranged”
adopted-daughter’s childhood experiences. We can’t imagine why:
the camp classic
Mommie Dearest is an entirely flattering
portrayal… of a crazy woman.
Kirsten Dunst as Marie Antoinette
French Revolution historians got up in a fuss about Sofia Coppola's 2006
portrayal of
Marie Antoinette. Whilst they twirled their moustaches
and smelt of moth balls, Kirsten Dunst seduced cinema-goers everywhere in
knee-high socks adorned with bows (and not much else). The real history
lesson? Revolution is so much prettier when coupled with
The
Cure.
Tom Cruise as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg
Imagine nobly sacrificing your life trying to save the Jewish people from
genocide, and then being rewarded with a man who needs to stand on a milk
crate to play you. We would be turning over in our grave.
50 Cent as "a coke dealer who becomes a world famous rapper"
Truly wanksta.
Sam Waterston as Sydney Schanberg
Younger audiences may know him as the man who upholds the peace without the
use of facial expression, but fans of the 1984 film
The Killing
Fields know him as the dude every aspiring journalist one day hopes to
be. A must-see classic that is as much worth watching for Waterston's facial
hair as it is for the history lessons.
Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan
Cate has made a habit out of playing other famous people, but it's
this portrayal of everybody's favourite 60s poet musician in
I'm Not
There that proves why she's so much cooler than that other "Australian"
imposter, Nicole.
Chloe Webb as Nancy Spungen
This version of
The Sex Pistols bassist's murderous addiction is
based upon Nancy's mothers version of events, and thus kinda views like a
parent's
Why Your Daughter Should Not Run Away With Rockstars
manual. Granted, Chloe kinda looks like a trannie in some scenes, but it's
alright because everything will be alright when you get to New York,
Nancy.
Dan Hedaya as Richard Nixon
Granted, this isn't actually an
entirely reliable version of the
Watergate scandal, but Hedaya's portrayal of this U.S. President is so goofy
that it's one of our favourites. Paper mache is a hobby of his.