Top Ten Intense Old People Dramas

The rules of suspense are simple: set up a situation where something bad can happen, then draw it out for as long as possible. Which is a pretty good way to describe being alive. And who are the people the closest to having something really bad happen to them? Why, old people. Whether it’s feel-good musical Quartet or upcoming feel-crap stroke (in a bad way) drama Amour, telling a story about old people is a great way to get audiences on the edge of their seat, because old people – just like people in movies who have a cough – are people who could die at any moment.

10. Last Orders 

Our story begins with Michael Caine dying of old age and WTF? Who wants to see that? Caine’s going to live forever, right? Right? Why are you all looking at me like that?

Next you’ll be trying to tell me Sean Connery and Gene Hackman are never going to make another movie. Or Bridget Fonda! Where’d she go? Geez, who goes to the movies to be reminded about the passage of time and the inevitability of death? Prequels, that’s what we want. Movies where all the characters are younger and the dead ones are alive again.

9. Red 

At the other end of the Old People vs Death spectrum is Red, which is basically a gun show video catalogue shoot, only instead of bikini girls, the agency accidentally sent over a bunch of stair chair models and the gun dudes were so scared of second amendment reforms, they went ahead anyway. Which is why there’s a sequel due later this year.

As they say, it’s better to give than receive, especially when you’re an old person and the gift is death.

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  • Yilgahn's avatar
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    Yilgahn
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    Tuesday 29 Jan 2013 - 6:01 PM
    Two words - "Gran Torino"
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