Top Ten Crap Family Comedies
Famlies: love them or hate them, why the hell would you want to watch a movie about them? Spies and aliens and sweeping romances and attractive people getting naked are all the kind of escapes from reality we go to the movies to enjoy: who wants to drive in a car full of screaming kids to a cinema to watch a movie about a car full of screaming kids?
10: The Santa Clause
Better known as The Film That Killed Christmas, this puts another magical twist on the formula by having Tim Allen KILL SANTA CLAUS – seriously, this actually happens in this so-called family comedy – then magically take his place, which turns out to be the best excuse for abandoning your family ever. Seriously, what better way to get your kids on side during a messy divorce than by telling them you have to leave mummy because you’re going to be the new Santa Claus? Plus then you only have to see them once a year. Which is once a year more often than you should see this film.
9: The Tooth Fairy
We all know Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a big muscle-bound tough guy. What could be funnier than pairing him up with a bunch of little kids who can run rings around him while he looks on helplessly? See also: Game Plan, Race to Witch Mountain. Better yet, don’t. And especially don’t see The Pacifier, which is basically the same movie only with Vin Diesel.
8: Mr Nanny
We all know Hulk Hogan is a big muscle bound tough guy. What could be funnier than pairing him up with a bunch of little kids who can run rings around him while he looks on helplessly? See also: Suburban Commando , Santa with Muscles, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. Seriously, see 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, it will change your life. In that you’ll probably become a hobo to try and escape the horrors you see every time you close your eyes.