The Top 10 Kitschy Teen Musicals
What is it with teenagers and singing?
Oh wait, that’s right; you can’t show teenagers having sex in a movie – well, you can, just as long as they instantly get pregnant and the rest of the movie is a massive lecture about how they’ve ruined their lives and also abortion is never a real option – so having them burst into song is the next best thing.
Well, not the literal next best thing – that’s the dancing that often accompanies the singing, which is crazy because singing is hard enough to do when you’re standing still.
But at least young people are so full of passion and energy and desire (thanks to them not being able to have sex) that it kind of makes sense to have them constantly burst into song.
Put another way: even the worst musical on this list of teen musicals is at least fun to laugh at. A terrible adult musical just makes you want to cry.
10. From Justin To Kelly
Take it away, Wikipedia: “The film is set during spring break in Fort Lauderdale, Florida; Texan singing waitress Kelly Taylor (Kelly Clarkson) meets Pennsylvanian college student Justin Bell (Justin Guarini), and they fall for each other, and various romantic complications ensue.”
Let’s say that again: Various romantic complications ensue. Sold! Oh wait, this went on to win the Razzie for “Worst Musical of our First 25 Years”. But how could a movie starring the winner and runner-up on the first season of American Idol possibly fail? Oh wait, I just read what I wrote there. As you were.
9. Hair Spray
Hey, why not turn a John Walters movie into a musical? He only made that one movie where a woman ate dog poo.
Fortunately the musical did not turn out to be dog poo, though it is a little sad rewatching it now and remembering how everyone thought Nikki Blonsky was going to be a huge star and now Rebel Wilson is beating her to every single role she could possibly try out for.
8. Swing Kids
In 1939 Hamburg, Germany, a group of teenagers express their rebellion against Adolph Hitler's Nazi regime through their affection for American swing music.
Oh yeah, this is going to end well. Technically this isn’t a musical but it totally should be remade as one, because fighting Nazi oppression with the power of swing really isn’t as funny as it seems.
C’mon everybody, swing dance!