What to watch while the world ends
Yay! Apocalypse day is here!!
Given that most of you are by now finished up for the year, whether from work or study, chances are you've got little to do as we grind towards our inevitable demise, so I've taken the liberty of throwing together a suggested menu of things to watch on this, our end of days.
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MELANCHOLIA! Feeling bummed about society in general? Does your meatloaf taste like ashes? Join Kiki D as she slouches, depressed, towards impending doom for everyone! "We're alone. Life is only on Earth. And not for long." PARTY!
SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD! Don't be fooled by the wacky ass trailer, Lorene Scafaria's Seeking A Friend... commits us all to almost the same fate as Melancholia. But if you'd prefer to go down in a hail of Walker Brothers songs and nice shots of Keira Knightley holding records (or Rob Corddry trying to feed pre-teen children hard liquor) rather than long stretches of Wagner, then this one's your best bet.
ROLAND EMMERICH DOUBLE FEATURE! You've gotta hand it to Roland Emmerich: after making The Day After Tomorrow, in which the world's climate changed dramatically and ushered in a new Ice Age, he clearly decided he'd been too soft on Earth (and also that his films needed more giraffes being airlifted through rocky chasms), and went and made 2012. Join John Cusack and his bedwetting daughter and some other people as they attempt to avoid destruction at the hands of a vengeful CGI department. "No more Pull-Ups!"
KNOWING! What if you want to split your time before the End Times between laughing at Nicolas Cage and playing Spot-O with Melbourne landmarks standing in for Somewheresville, USA? Alex Proyas' very silly "kid predicts all major disasters by scratching through a door or something" film is perfect for the stretch of the movie marathon when you need to go to the dunny or get some snacks. You can even put on a roast dinner and be back in time to see Spring Street get wasted by a giant fireball. Fuck you, Parliament House!!
DEEP IMPACT! Yo, fuck Armageddon, get down with the downbeat disaster film from 1998 instead. Not content to merely nearly bring about the end of Middle Earth, Elijah Wood is the plucky kid who accidentally discovers the comet that will soon collide with this Earth in this decidedly more depressing take on "saved at the last minute!" flicks. The scene where Leelee Sobieski has to say goodbye to her parents - "I'll see you soon! I'll see you soon!!" - still kills me every time, as does the shot of Tea Leoni and dad Maximilian Schell waiting to be wiped out by the tidal wave on the beach :(
Or, perhaps you'd rather make the best of the end of the world, and just go about things unfettered by narrative or a stirring score or beautiful cinematography. In which case, might I suggest you put on this recording of Winifred Atwell playing The Black & White Rag, and go your own way:
I'll see you all on the other side.