Do you ever feel like you've been toiling along in the televisual gloom, searching for that TV holy grail but not really certain what it is?
That's been my viewing trajectory: is it late night telemercials? Morning TV? Educational shows where teenagers shoot robots with shoulder-mounted rocket launchers?
It turns out that my ultimate TV treasure was already out there and waiting for me, and I didn't even know it existed. Ladies and gentlemen, it is
RuPaul's Drag Race.
Somebody recently asked me if I'd seen it, to which I replied 'no' and that I was certain it was the sort of reality television treasure that we'd be certain not to get down here on prisoner island.
How wrong I was! It's been showing on Foxtel's Lifestyle YOU channel for weeks. Fortunately, I have now caught up and can wholeheartedly say OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST REALITY SHOW EVER.
(Yes, it's even better than
Outrageous Celebrity Lookalike Behaviour Caught On Tape 2.)
The premise is reasonably simple: much like
Next Top Model et al, a bunch of hopeful drag superstars are housed together as they compete to become the winner of said Drag Race (scoring the usual, though GLBTG-specific, endorsements and cash as a prize).
But the magnificent RuPaul - a life-long idol of mine, it should be noted - appears both in her glamtastic guise when in Tyra mode at eliminations and challenges,
and as everyday RuPaul when providing guidance to the contestants when they're not bedragged.
Along the way, guest judges such as Bob Mackie, Michelle Williams (ex-Destiny's Child) and Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott appear to add a little extra camp sparkle.
In episode five (showing this coming Tuesday), the mini-challenge involves a fitness test set by a group of "girl fighters" - a Krav Maga instructor, two boxers, a cage-fighter and a capoeirista - after which the contestants must make over the fighters in their (i.e. drag) image.
After which, the fighters must lip-sync to Beyonce's
Freakum Dress. To be judged by Lucy Lawless and Pussycat Dolls choreographer and creator Robin Antin.
IS YOUR MIND EXPLODING YET? BECAUSE I KNOW MINE IS.
Not only that, but the elimination challenges feature lip-sync battles to drag classics like Whitney Houston's
The Greatest Love Of All (during which contestant Shannel's wig falls off due to the sheer passion of her performance, but she continues like a trooper) and The Eurhythmics'
Would I Lie To You.
Only in typically/fabulously hyperbolic form, they don't just lip-sync. They LIP-SYNC FOR THEIR LIVES.
Revel in the majesty of it:
Goosebumps!
The whole thing is a delight.
Yes, there are some sadsacks out there who don't like drag queens; for whom the idea of settling down for a dose of RuPaul each week is tantamount to water torture. Well those people are DEAD INSIDE.
It is truly one of the great sadnesses of my life that I was born a woman and thus robbed of the opportunity to be a fabulous drag queen, but at least in watching RuPaul's Drag Race I can cheer on those who were born with this special gift.
As the queen herself would say (and does, when sending contestants home), sashay, shante!
RuPaul's Drag Race is on Lifestyle YOU every Tuesday at 9.30pm.