So, comrades, the moment we've all been waiting for has finally arrived.
No, not the National Broadband Network, not the second coming, not pay day... the
Oprah's Ultimate Australian Adventure episodes!
Excitement overload!!
Ahem.
Well, perhaps not that exciting, but certainly since the Australian media captured her every move when she was in the country a few months back, I'm sure I wasn't the only person wondering exactly what Australia the queen of Finding Your Bliss would take back to America with her.
Would it be a gritty,
Wake In Fright-esque Australia, full of Akubras and tin shacks, or a P.J. Hogan Australia with daggy music and ill-fitting polyester playsuits? Or, worse still, a
Paul Hogan Australia where we all eat at BBQs and parasail to work?
Or would she, as Carrie Bickmore would so dearly love, report that we're all hanging out at hip cafes drinking lattes and discussing
Grand Angus burgers work and life?
As it turns out, it wasn't really any of these, which is a relief in and of itself. But does that mean that
Oprah's Ultimate Australian Adventure accurately represents our country?
Mate.
Der.
Now is as good a time as ever to reprise this photo:
"Your boobs feel amaaaaazing..."
is a sort of high-class version of the SkyBus video, taking in the best of the best sights and leaving the rest for, well, us.
With such pearls of wisdom as
Want to sound like a native? Drop the "r" and pronounce the city's name like "Mel-bin.", the Adventure is exactly as in depth as we all assumed it would be.
That means that a "chat" with Prime Minister Gillard is a casual stroll alongside Southbank's most picturesque wall, discussing her hairdresser boyfriend.
That means flying about in a whirly bird over the Barrier Reef while uttering all sorts of trademark Oprah ululations.
That means "[climbing] the top of the Sydney Harbour BRUUUUUUUUUHGE" *cue whirling aerial shot*
That means well known Australian icons like Russel Crowe, and Jay Z and Bon Jovi.
In addition, on the website, the
'history of Australia' slideshow skips merrily from Indigenous Australians to Captain Cook to Federation. Whee!
However, for all the tourism agency sweeping crane shots and emotional music bursts that pepper her
Adventure, to paraphrase Will Smith in
Men In Black, she made us look
gooood.
And, you know, since all we care about are "taxpayer dollars", the buzz so far seems to be that Oprah's glossy postcard from our little Prisoner Island will send tourists here in droves.
And in the light of how much money we need to inject into rebuilding Queensland (Oprah has also
linked to the flood relief on her official
Ultimate Australian Adventure site), perhaps a few thousand chartered trips around the Barrier Reef and surrounds aren't such a bad idea.
Somebody better get that koala "bear" some public relations training.