I may be alone here and potentially raise the ire of fans the world over but I just don’t get wrestling. Don’t get me wrong, for a while there in the late eighties I was fascinated with the bravura and verbal sparring of WWF but as with many other things in life, it simply lost its appeal. The strange thing is that while I haven’t watched a full “match” since the early nineties, I have since developed an almost unhealthy fascination with wrestlers who decided to make the transition to the big screen.
This is perhaps one of my most shameful cinematic secrets but there is something inherently entertaining about seeing those mountains of flesh and bone attempt to tone down their over the top performance style to pursue a thespian career. As the wrestling profession is clearly time limited, given the arduous physical strain, many a wrestler looks towards the film industry as a way of paying the bills. For the most part the end results are straight to DVD action films that I for one look forward to enjoying and ridiculing in equal measures.
We have looked back at all of those professional wrestlers who have decided to cross the chasm over to professional acting. While for the most part their films are forever doomed to gather dust in the darkest corner of the entertainment section of your video store, there are those examples that defy the odds and grace us all with some unexpected talent. From worst to best we have ranked them according to their ability to convincingly portray a human being.
10. Bill Goldberg
Unfortunately Goldberg hasn’t been able to translate his considerable charm in the ring to the screen with unfortunate roles in the Universal Soldier sequel and the truly horrible Half Past Dead 2.
9. Kevin Nash
Nash may be known to many as The Russian in 2004’s average The Punisher and despite little acting he sure did make a destructive impression. Nothing much has come of his career since then and he seems to have been relegated to walk on roles.
8. Kane
Anyone who has had the distinct pleasure of watching Kane star in See No Evil would agree that he needs to be put into retirement immediately.
7. Steve Austin
You have to hand it to Stone Cold, he doesn’t let talent seem to get in the way of a movie career. He is set to co-star in Stallone’s 80’s action-guy reunion later on in the year, but for my money you can’t go past The Condemned for laughably bad entertainment.
6. Rowdy Roddy Piper
Horrible actor but John Carpenter’s They Live still ranks as one the best B-movies of the 80’s, thanks to this almost mythic line.
5. Andre the Giant
Andre’s role as Fezzik in The Princess Bride alone makes the man an absolute legend.
4. Hulk Hogan
Hogan tried his heart out but never quite became the next Schwarzenegger, possibly because of film choices like this one.
3. Jesse Ventura
I’ll admit it he hasn’t starred in much but thanks to small but memorable roles in Predator, The Running Man and The X-Files the man has earned our respect. Plus he said this line:
2. John Cena
Cena may not be God’s gift to acting but in The Marine and 12 Rounds he does a pretty decent job at portraying human emotion. All he needs now is a decent film.
1. The Rock
Sure the Tooth Fairy sucks big time but the man can go from action, to kids’ films, to drama and indie weirdness (what the hell was Southland Tales about?) effortlessly. Dwayne Johnson has achieved what none of his peers have been able to even come close to and despite a few poor choices seems to have a very promising career ahead of him.