Oh my lord. It's been a while since we checked in on the goings on at Dreamworld, and for good reason. Firstly, even a trash addict like me is finding it difficult to pretend to be gripped by Big Brother this year, and secondly, apparently
they're doing revolting things to each other and I am far too highbrow for such stuff. Kinda.
"A claim by Big Brother evictee Rebecca about the filthy actions of another housemate has sparked an investigation by Channel Ten into goings on within the compound. Rebecca claimed during an interview with the Daily Telegraph that fellow housemate Dixie routinely wiped herself "downstairs" then touched people's faces and food.
The incident was reported as the filthiest thing to happen in the house since the infamous 'turkey slap' where two male housemates were involved in rubbing genitals on a female housemate's face."
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
"Network Ten was concerned about the claims and ordered Big Brother producers to scour all footage of Dixie in the house since the start of the show. Six people were tasked with looking at footage gathered from 37 cameras and audio from 97 microphones."
Let us take a moment out from our busy schedule and quietly pray for the poor six employees forced to monitor Dixie's vagina/finger action. No paycheck could be big enough for them to be saying to themselves "Wow, I am certainly satisfied with the career choices which led to this moment in my life". Brothers and sisters, I feel for you.
At least your tireless investigation led to some comforting results.
"Dixie's 'hands down her pants incident' that Rebecca refers to did not happen in the way Rebecca portrays," says a Network Ten spokesperson. "We've reviewed the footage extensively and while Dixie jokes about the act with fellow housemates, at no time does she actually carry it out.
Oh good. That's something, then.
- By Jess McGuire for Defamer.