I received a bit of flack for my last post on 'the lie that is Santa Clause', mostly from my Mum, because she and others believe that I am too cynical. Now, a cynic would never admit to being cynical, they would say they were pragmatic or a realist, so I couldn't agree with them on that, so pragmatics join me, and vote NO to New Years Eve Resolutions.
I could start by pointing out the irony in many of the popular resolutions made and those who make them but I fucking hate the word 'irony', every man and his barking dog uses that word, "oh look that new place the Smith's built just burned down, how ironic" it's not ironic at all you stupid idiot, it's tragic and sad and a terrible freakin accident. Alanis Morissete has a lot to answer for, she managed to fool everyone and after winning a godzillion awards for that one album she disappeared off the musical landscape, how ironic.
There are three main types of resolutions made on New Years Eve. Type 1 involves money, type 2 involves food (or lack of), and type 3 involves alcohol. They are all made at a time when the person is splurging on one of those types, or all of them. "I'm going to save more money", what he says after paying $150 just to walk in the door on NYE at his local pub that on any other night is free. "I'm going to diet this year", while she munches on deep fried cocktail food being served around at below room temperature. And finally resolution type 3, alcohol, or more to the point, giving up on alcohol. So at 6pm you declare your giving up the 'drink' in the new year, for a select period of time of course, and then by 1am you can't even remember your girlfriend's name or see the wall in front of you. Resolutions always begin on the 2nd of January you see, and are usually finished by the 4th. Why does it take the biggest over-hyped night of the year for people to make promises to themselves to treat their own bodies with more respect? Or their bank balance? Why not make a resolution to yourself in March, or July, or October? Its like people decide they must enter the following year with a plan of attack, a plan to change, but its only 1 night, it's just the change of a calendar year, the Chinese even have their own. Earth just keeps rotating whether you decide to cut back your KFC intake or not. It's the same deal as when the day after your birthday some douchebag asks you whether you 'feel older', no dickhead I feel the same way as yesterday but now I got a silver freakin watch on my wrist.
So the point of all of this is that I'd like to stop the New Years Eve Resolution making, just stop it. We all know come the end of the week you'll be joking with your friends about how you resolved to stop drinking and wow-we, look at you you're drinking. It's almost like a game where you can challenge your friends as to how many days you can keep your resolution, and everybody loses. I decided not to make a resolution at all, which now that I think about it, is actually a resolution, I made a resolution to not make a resolution, but my resolution is one that I can keep. Isn't it ironic? No it isn't.