News
John Howard yesterday appeared at the launch of a children's book designed to help kids deny the science of climate change. It's called "How to Get Expelled From School", and it's all about teaching your child to be a fantastic dickhead. Boy, it sounds like a fun bedtime read.
Papua New Guinea is eyeing off a full-blown political crisis as
parliamentarians loyal to perhaps interim, perhaps actual prime minister Peter O'Neill stormed the Parliament to protest the return of perhaps current, perhaps former prime minister Michael Somare. O'Neill is up in arms after the Supreme Court ruled that Somare's removal from the prime ministership had been unlawful, a perhaps opportunistic dismissal undertaken while 75-year old Somare was out of the country for medical treatment. As it stands, the Governor-General is refusing to swear anyone in as prime minister until everybody sorts it out amongst themselves.
Canada has celebrated the Durban climate agreement by pulling out of the Kyoto Protocol. Arguing that the 1997 agreement is outdated because it only imposes restrictions upon developed nations, the Canadians have never really shown much inclination to do anything about the Protocol since they signed it, so I don't think people are surprised at the move, just disappointed.
What the hell Belgium? The world's most ignorable country has just witnessed
a grenade attack on a Christmas shopping precinct that killed five people and injured over one hundred. I mean, I'm as cynical about Christmas as the next man, but wow, that is hectic.
Tunisia, the country that birthed the Arab Spring, has a new President. And he's a long term human rights and political activist. And he will be in power for one year. ONE YEAR ONLY.
Things are going from shit to shiiiiiiiiiiit in Syria, with
the UN's latest report adding a thousand to the death toll in the past fortnight and outright conflict between the army and its defectors becoming an increasingly common event. There's no real solutions in sight right now though, as Russia won't even let the EU slip through a cheeky condemnation, and the Arab League, while doing plenty, also aren't about to send in the troops. So, it's pretty much just let them slaughter each other for the foreseeable future. It's just like that old song, "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Syria?"
Russia's political theatre has kicked up a gear with the announcement that
the country's third richest man, Mikhail D. Prokhorov, is launching an impromptu bid for the Presidency. Noone is entirely sure whether the bid is actually legit or just a piece of Kremlin-backed chicanery, but it's nice to think that there'll be someone to distract from Putin over the coming months.
Mass arrests? Forcible eviction of Westerners? It's the new Iraq! Emboldened by the imminent departure of their American guests/military occupiers,
Prime Minister al-Maliki looks to be in the process of consolidating power and flexing his political muscle in what could be the lead-in to a hasty return to one-man, one-party rule for the nation. But at least the West will have the cosy satisfaction of a job well done, right?
Alright, so perhaps the News Limited scumbags who were hacking into Milly Dowler's phone didn't actually delete any of her voicemail messages. They just listened to them. News Limited is up in arms, accusing the Guardian of being irresponsible in making such allegations, but, let's be frank, considering everything else that came afterwards, I'm not really sure there's a moral high ground for News to fight for here.
Newt Gingrich has been offered $1 million to quit the Republican race by a right-win radio host. Because he is unelectable. Which he clearly is. Which is clearly what I said about Tony Abbott and now he's the most popular boy in school. Mainly because the only other person in school has a personal brand that could perhaps best be described as "plague-ridden".
Features
Lara Tingle rips shreds through Julia Gillard and the Labor Party for the latest Cabinet reshuffle, a move that "[i]n a rare feat of ineptitude... fails both the self-interest and national interest test".
Stephanie Bolt, sister of everyone's favourite columnist, Andrew Voldebolt, writes about being a lesbian and
why she passionately disagrees with her brother about gay marriage. And then, on the other hand,
Kevin Rudd's sister just quit the Labor Party over its support for gay marriage. And then,
Penny Wong and her partner just had a baby. And then,
a teacher in the US has been reprimanded for changing the lyrics to Deck the Halls from "don we now our gay apparel" to "don we now our bright apparel". You can never be too careful when those homosexuals are about.
Oddities/Curiosities
Another high point in North/South Korean relations,
after the North threatened military retaliation for the South's planned erection of Christmas lights near their shared border. To quote: "The enemy warmongers... should be aware that they should be held responsible entirely for any unexpected consequences that may be caused by their scheme". Just wait until they wheel out the Santank.
Bad ways to go (a trilogy): 1)
having your brain eaten by an amoeba that entered your body through misuse of a Neti Pot; 2)
being decapitated by Saudia Arabian authoritities for "sorcery"; and 3)
committing suicide by drunkenly jumping into piranha infested waters.
Video
After five decades of loyal service – in which he probably did more to shape the way we see the natural world than any one person since Darwin – David Attenborough finally bids farewell to the BBC with a rendition of It's A Wonderful World. Bring tissues.