News
Julia Gillard has reorganised her Cabinet, taking the end of year break as an opportunity to promote the "faceless men" who pushed her into power in the first place and threw into total chaos Labor's public brand. Both Bill "PM before you pay off your mortgage" Shorten and Mark "wait for me, sir!" Arbib continued their stratospheric rise through the ranks, while everyone else just got gently shuffled around, like a deck of cards that you don't actually shuffle because you're trying to steal money off the person you're gambling against. This occurred at exactly the same moment as
another poll came through suggesting Gillard and Labor's electoral woes were as bad as ever, so, who knows, maybe this will be the magic bullet for their woes... HA!
Surprise! Tony Abbott has essentially vetoed the idea of his party having a conscience vote on gay marriage and thereby giving it any chance whatsoever of passing the Federal Parliament. He also made some comments about heterosexual marriage being rationalised because of the importance of procreation, which continues to be the most hilariously depressing argumentative cul-de-sac of modern moralism. I mean, really. Procreation? In this day and age? I tell you what, Tony, the instant you publically officiate over the unwilling divorce of an infertile heterosexual couple who love each other to the ends of the Earth but cannot have a naturally born child, then that, right there, is the point at which I consider giving you my vote. You fetid oxygen thief.
Russia continues to protest, a very strange state of affairs for a country who even in the moment of USSR dissolution was relatively placid. But the recent very, very obviously rigged parliamentary elections seem to have pushed buttons all over the place and suddenly we've witnessed some 50 000 people hit the streets in protest against the standing, largely unopposed government. Led by Vladimir Putin (and in much smaller type, Dmitry Medvedev).
Medvedev has come out to say that the results will stand nonetheless, and they are already mobilising the slightly terrifying youth wing of the party, Nashi (like the pear) but the continued presence of a dissenting voice suggests that maybe Russia is bracing for a more interesting 2012 than most people anticipated.
Scientists are increasingly confident that the Higgs Boson has been found. While perhaps one of the more confusing statements in this column when taken in the abstract, the HB (as I'd like it to be known) essentially holds the key to Einstein's model of the universe. So, no biggie.
Iran is strutting about the place trumpeting the fact that it shot down a US predator drone and is
about to make one of its own from the model. Hard to know exactly how seriously to take such a threat, but, at the same time, there was always going to be a pretty limited time frame to America's ability to willfully assassinate whoever they wanted without putting any of their soldiers in danger, so there almost seems to be some poetic justice in one of their sworn enemies getting there first. I guess.
In Syria they held municipal elections. Because when I and my countrymen are being mercilessly slughtered by my government, what I really care about is the composition of my local council.
Well, that doesn't look good. Mitt Romney, under the first serious challenge to his GOP nomination race from Newt Gingrich, committed a potentially lethal blunder during a debate over the weekend when
he challenged Rick Perry to a $10 000 bet. This being America, that amounts to a number of months of the average salary. Needless to say, it's not a good look for a multi-millionaire to throw down $10 000 as petty cash.
Features
The weekend has been one of really important but kinda dull negotiation free-for-alls, so here's a suite of articles to get you up to speed.
The climate change conference in Durban. Yeah, that happened. And something actually happened. Unlike Copenhagen. Where the world actually paid attention. Of course, the machinations of the agreement are typically arcane and, to an outside observer, probably mean less than my used foolscap. But fortunately the media are on side to tell you what you need to know. The Independent narrates the quite remarkable moment where
two powerful women, for one of the first times in history, were the major deciding figures in one of the more significant global agreements of our time. And
the Guardian tracks the reactions around the world. Out of the woods we ain't, but it's a pretty impressive feat of international cooperation nonetheless.
Meanwhile, The EU have been busy tearing themselves apart too, don't you worry about that. With Germany close to the only solvent nation left in the eurozone, and the UK reluctant to get anywhere near a currency that currently reeks of herpes, the weekend's 27 nation talkfest had a lot to give. Especially when the UK threw down some sweet veto action and pretty much signalled their departure from the union. Nonetheless, the other 26 nations weren't to be cowed and yeses were said and dubious agreements were signed. In the wake of which,
Crikey weighs in on the fact that this entire foofaraw ignores the pertinent question. And then the ominously named Project Syndicate happily argue that
the fiscal Apocalypse isn't quite as close as the doomsayers would have us think.
Oddities/Curiosities
Increasingly regarded as one of the essays of the year, here's a first person narration in the New York Times of
one man heading to Disneyland with a wife, child and another family. It's pretty great.
And this is where gay, bisexual and straight distinctions really come into focus: gay semi-professional softball leagues. Or, more specifically,
the bisexual men who sued after being forcibly evicted from the league after other members raised questions about their wives. "Perceived heterosexuality" is certainly a novel burden.
Video
The closer we get to Christmas, the worse I feel about giving you productive videos, so today, instead,
you get proCATination. Make your bosses proud.