'Grid Girls' are traditionally scantily clad ladies of an attractive nature used to promote a motor racing event. This has been a time honoured tradition that dates back to the Roman chariot races (probably).
No more.
For this years Melbourne Formula 1 grand prix at Albert Park, major sponsor Qantas commissioned designer Kit Willow to create a more elegant look for the ladies of the tarmac.
Elegant it may be (Mel Hick - help me out here), but grid girl it is not. Many critics have panned the new look, the Herald Sun going as far to refer to it as 'mafia style'... I can see where they are coming from there... the fedora style hat perhaps... but I just can't imagine Marlon Brando or Al Capone pulling off much of the rest of it.
They even asked Gary Ablett what he thought of the new outfits (why?)... "I like the old ones better". Thanks Gary. Now fuck off to the Gold Coast.
The designer herself admitted it was the trickiest brief she had tackled in her career. ''Qantas … wanted style and elegance for the grid girls,'' she said. ''But, then, there's the grand prix, and, um, I had to keep sympathy with, um, its tradition of, um, well OK, tits and arse. That was the challenge.''
I love that quote.
In my years, I have come across a method of accurately judging the quality of grid girls and their outfits. So come all, gather round and you just might learn something here.
It's called the 'background check'. Now, along the way the definition of this much used term has got a little muddied and people seem to think it is about looking into someone (or somethings) past. This is incorrect. It was ACTUALLY a term coined to judge grid girls, by looking into the background of photographs of the lovely ladies.
Look for the bogan, and see where his eyes are. Creeps can be ignored.
If we take this test to the new Kit Willow designed outfits, we can see the results. Observe below (remember to ignore the creepy sandwich guy).
See? The bogans are completely unimpressed. They can't even be bothered to turn their heads 60 degrees to the left to cop an eyefull of leather skirted bum. Another history lesson - this is where the term 'turn heads' came from.
Now, if we look at these past examples of grid girls, we can see their outfits have garnered the attention the designer sought after.
I've also found another interesting phenomenon along the way. It's called the "Jimmy Barnes effect". And well, you can plainly see the destructive forces it has below...
