Jobs that movies have made cooler than they actually are

My life choices are nearly entirely dependent on what I see in movies. This is sometimes positive, like the first time I saw ‘Almost Famous’ and I became convinced that being a fifteen year old prodigy journalist for Rolling Stone was almost certainly my destiny (funnily enough this hasn’t come to fruition). Sometimes it has not been so good, like when I decided to grow my hair like Darryl Hannah in ‘Splash’ . I looked less like a mermaid and more like a homeless person. It was a hard couple of months.

Because I am a sucker for all things cinematic and cannot suspend disbelief (thank you “Sophie’s Choice’ for ruining my weekend), I tend to believe most of the things that I see on the silver screen. Thus jobs that are not so cool in real life, when Hollywoodified seem very appealing to me. Follow me friends as I explore the jobs that movies have made cool.

 ‘Indiana Jones’- Archaeologist

I defy you to say that after seeing at least one Indiana Jones movie you didn’t want to be an archaeologist. Maybe you were like me and initially didn’t exactly understand what it was that Dr. Jones did, other than hanging around in classrooms full of swooning female students. But by the time that guy pulled on his leather jacket, whacked on a fedora and grabbed his whip (I didn’t mean for that sequence to sound dirty) you knew some Nazi’s ass was about to be whooped. Why is it always Nazi’s that want to steal and abuse priceless commodities? I don’t know. In the new one the bad guys are evil Russian scientists. It’s just not the same. Either way, I don’t think real life archaeologists get up to much Nazi whipping.

‘To Kill a Mockingbird’- Lawyer

When I first read this book as a youngster I was pretty sold on the fact that a) I wanted to be a lawyer in the Deep South in the 1930s or b) Atticus Finch was actually my dream guy (this was later replaced by Hawkeye Pierce from ‘M.A.S.H’. Don’t judge me). There just seemed to be something so noble about this job, you stood up against the shackles of injustice, were seen as a pillar of all that was good in the community and despite all the hardship you endured, you knew that at the end of the day you were only doing what was right. It helped a lot that Atticus was played in the movie by the reassuringly deep voiced Gregory Peck. However my lawyer ambitions ended during my first class of Legal Studies when I had to learn about the difference between judicial, legislative and executive powers. Apparently I wouldn’t get to deconstruct racism for a while.

“Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”- Journalist

So maybe this film doesn’t glamorise journalism as much as it frames it as a drug fuelled romp that allows you to take an all expenses paid trips via convertible to Las Vegas, where you can get high with your best friend, and spend only two hours tops actually working. But I’ve got news for you folks, I am doing a journalism degree and it ain’t no romp. Rule 1 #: only journalists who worked at Rolling Stone in the 1970s were able to get away with such behaviour Rule 2#: you probably will not work for Rolling Stone (thanks again for the false hope, Cameron Crowe). I guess the hallucinations of bats attacking me are kind of off putting too.

“Dangerous Minds”- Teacher



Much in the same way that Sidney Poitier inspired a generation of teachers in the 1960s to move to rough part of England to educate kids who said “innit” and seemed to be permanently covered in a layer of coal dust in “To Sir with Love”, Michele Pfeiffer made school cool in this nineties classic. Based on the book ‘My Posse Don’t do Homework’, which I still think should have been the title of the film, Pfeiff has to deal with crazy Hispanic kids shooting at each other, African American girls getting pregnant and school authorities questioning her zany method of teaching, i.e. her putting on a leather jacket. Although inspiring kids to value knowledge seems like a rewarding career, I can’t help but wonder if the experience wouldn’t be as satisfying if she worked at say a private all girl’s school in South Yarra. Less drugs and more iphones I’d wager.

‘Pretty Woman”- Prostitute

Be honest. It didn’t look that bad. It shouldn’t have, but it kind of looked fun. Apparently this film was initially meant to look at the seedy underbelly of prostitution in New York, but Gary Marshall realised that being a hooker was just too darn amusing. Sure people give you shtick for actually being a prostitute, but you get to go on shopping sprees, fall in love with millionaires and play polo. There is no down side to prostitution in this movie. I’m saying what you are all thinking, OK???