It is with a heavy stomach and satisfied mind that I stand upon Chapel Street cursing my gung-ho appetite for destruction. The sheer eagerness to devour copious amounts of food thrown at me, has defeated me. My inner Labrador wants to wolf down every morsel of awesome on the plate, but my sensible senses tell me when enough is enough. On this day, the later would fail me.

The kitchen is now in the hands of the extremely capable Jess Barnes, formerly of Guy Grossi's highly touted Grossi Florentino in the city, and was involved in establishing the intercontinental hotel collaboration called Grossi Trattoria in Bangkok. Has he got the mad skills? Let's just say my girlfriend wanted to hump his leg. She even told him she loved him. (I'm totally OK with my girlfriend loving chefs.) His food stylings are of modern European influences combined with his classical training, with emphasis on locally sourced produce and it really translates with all of the dishes served tasting like home-cooked by way of home-grown.

As we eagerly await the barrage of noms, we soak up a variety of fluids in the great beer-garden/outdoor dining area, which on a warm evening shows many a potential for future fluid intakes during the hotter months. I suggest you put it on your beer garden list for summer, (as one does when racking ones brains of the beer gardens Melbourne city has to offer).

And so it begins, We are greeted by a set of Oysters with our names all over it.

(Baked Coffin Bay oysters, jamon and parmesan crust)

Internal monologue continues: "A lot more of the same?", "No Toby, there is much more food to be consumed. Sit tight."

And then...

(Crumbed lamb cutlet, caponata salad: sicilian sweet and sour vegetables)

And then...

(Green asparagus, sage and brown butter, fried egg and sanguinaccio aka black pudding)

Accompanied with...

(Sauteed mushrooms with tarragon and sherry vinegar)

And then...

(Pan fried calamari, chickpeas, cumin, tomato and basil)

And then...

(Panzanella - crushed tomato and bread salad, burrata (artisan mozzarella - google it for better explanation), spring onions and raspberry vinegar)

And then...

(Victorian lamb shoulder cooked in milk, white wine and herbs, with lentils house salad with mt zero oil and radishes)

*phew*... And then...

(Chocolate marquis, fig and pistachio cake, salted caramel and mocha icecream)

And then...

(Red wine poached pears, yoghurt mousse, almond crumble)

And then? NO MORE AND THEN!

Waste food? But... I may never eat again. Seriously full by this stage, nearing game over and regurgitation. Time to call it quits.

Food in stomach, dry martini in hand, there was no hesitation to kick back and enjoy a balmy Melbourne night under the lights of a Hoo-Haa deck.

For those that have been told by a friend of a friend that called a Mexican friend that said Hoo-Haa is just a parma/pizza bar/grill, or for those that have been for a parma or a pizza sometime in the last year, should now forget what ever happened at Hoo-Haa, make a booking and re-visit. You will be pleasantly surprised.

"Tell 'em Ray sent ya" *joking*

... I have no idea who Ray is.

Hoo-Haa
Level 1, 105 Chapel St, Windsor
Bookings recommended: (03) 9529 6900

Rating:
Half an awkward cough. (Worst being 5 awkward coughs)