FirstWorldProblems

• Blogs
• Old
• Entertainment
• Technology

• 

This whole post is offensive, please do not read of you are easily offended.




#FirstWorldProblems...

Is anyone else as sick of this tagline as I am?

Why do people need to justify the fact that they acknowledge that they’re complaining about something trivial that would only happen if you lived in the first world?

I mean really, do you actually think someone reading your mundane update on facebook is going to call you out with some wanky comment like “Hey guy, you know some people don’t have it as good as we do, you should appreciate what you do have and not what you blah, blah, blah, I’m a c*ck…”

Your reply should be “Get off your high horses’ d*ck and shut the f*ck up.”

 What these #firstworldproblems posters should really be acknowledging is that they have every right to complain about trivial things, for the sole reason that we

Live. In. The. First. World.

The fact that you’re even using a social networking medium is a tagline enough.

I really don’t think anyone in the third world who is sick of waiting on their Christian-missionary-issued bowl of rice per day is going to be tweeting about it.

And if they did I would be following that motherfucker, quick smart! RT! RT!

 

Most of us grew up in a place where we don’t have to get upset about “Real Shit”, so all we do have to complain about is missing out on stuff we don’t need, I’m sure there’s several instances though where someone may have something worth complaining about in hopes it will change the shitty result, for example…

“Just lost my job because I turned down my sleazy bosses’ offer to blow him, now I can’t pay rent!”

#FirstWorldProblems #LOL”.

Someone reading that may in the kindness of their heart help the poster with some rent money or even let them know about a position going at their workplace, not likely though considering all it was going to take to stay employed was a little blowjob and they couldn’t even do that, poor work ethic in my opinion. 

Personally, I recently missed out on Louis C.K. tickets, so what did I do? I bitched and moaned about it to someone that did get a ticket in hopes they’d feel bad about going.

It really wasn’t going to get me anywhere but if they did feel bad for a minute I would’ve felt good for about 10 seconds until I realised I still wasn’t going to that show, Lame.

If they tried to pull some bullshit like “Hey at least you can go home and download his latest DVD.” I probably would’ve glassed them with the pinapple vodka they were drinking then sat there and finished my beer while they then, sulked.

That would’ve been awkward.

 

This brings me to my next point…

That awkward moment when you don’t blow your boss and you lose your job and can’t pay rent. *15 PEOPLE LIKE THIS!*

This is such a poor attempt at observational humour, most of the time the dickhead writing it doesn’t even make any sense. “That awkward moment when you’re jerking off at your P.C. and you get cum on your keyboard”.

THAT’S NOT AN AWKWARD MOMENT, IT JUST SUCKS!

Although, you can imagine how hard it must be to clean cum out from between the keys on the keyboard before it dries and just f*cks your shit right up?

That’s actually a pretty legitimate first world problem right there.

 

Anyway… most of the time I see these “awkward moments” they’re in the form of a facebook page, I really do not understand this considering the page itself doesn’t actually contain any information, a possible breakdown of the scenario it’s describing as awkward or, which would actually justify it’s existence, stories from the people who liked it from when it happened to them possibly adding something substantial to what is otherwise you “liking” the punch line to a shit joke.

 

It seems like the only reason these pages exist is so when one of your idiot friends “likes” the page it will pop up on their live feed as “John P. Douchebag likes ‘That awkward moment when you walk in on your sister masturbating and don’t leave straight away’!” and you can have a giggle at how funny John is for clicking the ‘like’ button on something some other moron barely made up and executed badly.

You people aren’t using the internet properly. seriously guys, you’re doing it wrong. It’s dumb, unoriginal and it hurts to read. My #FirstWorldProblems are all of you.

Now, if ever you catch me complaining about wondering where my next meal is coming from and not something dumb like “standing in line for way too long waiting for an iPad 2, this sux!” please kill me, I won’t survive in the grim reality of having to deal with “Real Shit”.

 

AJ DeWolk