TheVine. Skip directly to: Search Box, Section Navigation, Content.

TheVine - News, Music, Fashion and Videos

Search TheVine:

Blogs  |  Forums

Centrelink gives you options

Thursday, July 24, 2008
Centrelink. Wow, let me enlighten you, for those of you lucky enough not to have ever received free money from the pockets of taxpayers, then you wouldn't know about this 'breed' of human, other than that foreign smell on the tram. Im not talking about the everyday, once so often job seeker, im talking about the lower rung of societies misfits. The peeps with dirty fleece garments, lice of all types, un-brushed teeth, nokia 5110's and the smell of dank musty cheese, sub human to say the least.

This one couple were outstandingly haggard; He must have been having a whole-life crisis, from what I could tell he'd just moved from NZ and he'd found himself a classy young 18 (16 debatable) year old reminiscent of a wildebeest with a very fragrant (read: pungent) aroma, it smelt kinda like those pink lolly musk sticks you used to get as a child, yeah that and that smell young hippie children get when they drink loads of soy milk.*heaves*, She had the biggest skidmarks down the back of her trackies, no word of a lie she looked like she had been bob sledding down Ayers Rock, with no sleigh. I wanted to capture the mood on my phone, I just couldn't bring myself to come across as a Centrelink stalker as well as a... err... not that I ever wanted to relive the moment, my brain and I were in an epic battle to pull the trigger. We both decided to let it go.

Her boyfriend-slash-father had really sunk to a new low, obviously downgrading from proverbial Devon to Spam (difference?), he looked really depressed, and hating the fact that this thing was trying to tickle him and make him mash faces with her, His life looked like it really hurt.

I just feel depressed for these people, they don't know any better. i'm all for the less abled getting love, everyone needs love whether they be mad spesh, dumb clever, cosmetically challenged, stylistically inept etc, but I just really hope they are using condoms, shopping bags and/or coathangers or SOME sort of contraception, the thought of them spawning more low income, low rent, white trash scum just makes me feel a bit ill.

Forget about saving *insert name of charity* these people are the real victims!

Centrelink - The Musical

Reader comments (3)

MelanieHick Royalty MelanieHick ON 24 Jul 2008 01:32:27PM you are hilarious. i wish you were my brother.

  • Flag
 

KO Royalty KO ON 24 Jul 2008 02:32:54PM Nokia 5110s are really good phones.

  • Flag
 

shiremole Royalty shiremole ON 24 Jul 2008 02:46:06PM I'm SO happy my taxes go to those most deserving...phew...

  • Flag
 

Want to add a comment?

Signup for a free account, or log in (if you're already a member)

  • Currently 0/5 Stars.
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

  • Comments: 3
  • Views: 67
  • Faves
  • Flag
Tobler1 - I am the internet. If its weird, seedy & creepy, you'll find it here.

Tobler1

Jeepers Creepers

I am the internet. If its weird, seedy & creepy, you'll find it here.